Diagnosis: Type 2 Medial Collateral Ligament injury

Fuckin' Oooowwwwww!!!

It all happened at Action Drinking last night, but on the pitch before the real drinking part started. The guys had asked me to fill in for one of the usual team members that couldn't make the game and I was quite happy to do so, needing to have a hangover on Thursday morning.

The game only started at 19h40 so I stayed home until an hour or so before it was due to start, and had a drink with Steph. I arrived at the arena about 40mins before the game started so we had time for two drinks. Nothing like going onto the cricket field in a mild state of inebriation.

As a team, we'd batted reasonably well, hitting 127 runs (I think) and thought it a defendable target. Things were going well until about the 9th over when I took a low catch and felt my left knee buckle inward, immediately sending pain seering into my brain. I got up and limped around a while, thinking it would sort itself out but the pain persisted.

We ended up winning the game by a huge margin and retired to the bar for a few rounds. All the while, the pain in my knee remained constant until the muscles and ligaments cooled down, then it got very sore and I limped out of the arena around midnight accompanied by Fishman and Corner.

I stopped off for a sandwich at a fuel stop and was just getting back into my car when Corner phoned to say that there were cops and a roadblock on my route down to the highway. Luckily he had seen it and approached slowly and was waved through. I decided to take an alternate, longer, route home just in case. It would give me time to eat my sandwich anyway.

At home, I limped in and didn't even have a shower. I was starting to feel some serious pain and just wanted to curl up and pass out into oblivion. As it happens, I had the most uncomfortable night imaginable. I couldn't get the knee settled into a position that I couldn't feel it and tossed and turned the whole night long, even waking Steph up a couple of times. From around 4am the pain was so bad, that I didn't sleep for the rest of the night.

Up at around 7h30am, I phoned the doctor's offices at 8am and got an appointment for 9h30. After showering, I got onto the web and did a quick Google on knee ligament injuries and had a suspicion that the Medial Collateral Ligament had gone. The site I found even gave the different types of injuries, how long they could take to heal (3 to 4 weeks in my case) and the treatments required (very seldom requires surgery).

In the doctor's rooms, I found that my usual doctor is on leave and I would have to see Dr Mphutha (yup, you guessed it...papvreter). What the fuck, I knew what was wrong and just wanted confirmation and a prescription.

Then I discovered that the good doctor is a woman. She poked and prodded at the knee and confirmed my diagnosis, gave me a Voltaren shot in the arse and wrote my prescription. All in all, I was in there for five minutes and...KACHING!!, came out R320 poorer.

Over to the chemist for my anti-inflamatories and a knee brace and back home, where I am now keeping the leg rested. I've also cancelled my meetings for tomorrow as I am going to milk this opportunity to have a rest.

Incidentally, it was the first time I'd flashed my arse at a black chick...and hopefully the last...