Monday, February 08, 2010

FedEx has gone to the Birds...

Wow...I feel so honoured that FedEx would want to give me 600,000 pounds of starlings. That must equate to just about the entire population of the birds and I can hold the world to ransom for them...

In the words of Cartman (he of South Park fame), "Goddammit, these scammers are so thick and just piss me off!! Kiss my ass, assholes!!"

DATE: 07th Feb., 2010. FedEx Delivery Service. We awaiting your urgent respond to enable us confirmed your shipping address and make shipment of your registered package. Content; Bank Draft of £600,000 GBP (Six Hundred Thousand Pounds Starlings). Reg .Number: P-01-402761625 /Reg Date: 06/02/2010. The Package was registered by your friend currently undergoing survey project with Construction Company in West Africa, Nigeria as valentine Gift. We are sending you this email because the package was registered on a Special Order and is mean to be deliver TWO working days. All we require you to do now is to contact our Delivery Department for immediate dispatch of the package to your residential address. For your information, Shipping charges as well as Insurance fees have been paid by your colleague. The only payment you are to make is £210 GBP to the FedEx Delivery Department for Customs delivery clarification Form. Please contact the delivery department with the details given below: Contact Person: Mr. Richard Raynor Confirmation Email: Tel: +2348071208793. Kindly complete the below form. This is mandatory to reconfirm your Postal address for clarification. FULL NAMES: TELEPHONE: POSTAL ADDRESS: Zip/Postal code: CITY: STATE: COUNTRY: NOTE: As soon as your detail is received, our delivery team will give you the necessary payment procedure for Customs. After your payment, the attach Delivery Tracking Number would be send to you and we shall dispatch your package immediately. Ensure to fill the above form and make your payment to enhance urgent service. Yours faithfully, Mrs. .Mary Maxwell © Federal Express Corporation All rights reserved. © 1996-2010 FedEx.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Fishman and Woodwork

Fishman was going off on his blog about not being able to fish. I know what he means cos I haven't been able to hit the water for the last three weekends due to other commitments.

He was also going off about not being able to do any of his second passion...woodwork, so I thought I'd post a couple of pics of my latest woodworking toy to perhaps get him in the mood again.

I was browsing the Cape Ads on Monday and came across an ad for a "good condition, secondhand DeWalt DW320 radial arm saw". I remember thinking "yeah, right" and wanted to carry on browsing until the price caught my eye. I've seen them priced up to R11k new, R5k or R6k for "good, secondhand", so it was no wonder this price caught my eye.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I spoke to the seller, made up my mind to go and have a look at the saw, drove an hour to a little town called Darling (which, if you closed your eyes to fart hard, you would drive right through without even knowing you'd passed it - the town, not the wind), took one look, turned it on, agreed to the price, and shook the guy's hand on the deal, loaded up the saw, made the internet payment, then drove an hour back to Cape Town very satisfied with myself.

Anyway, these are a couple of pics of a similar saw (haven't taken any of mine yet as I have to dust it off and put a new table on it)... piss Fishman off, what did I pay for the saw?

R1, 100..................I kid you not!!!! Bargain of a lifetime!!!

Only in Australia....priceless!!!

Dear Mr President Jacob Zuma

An article written by a black person, presumably a woman though I can never tell by names, though I'm not sure where it was published, though it might have been last week's sunday Times Letters Page...

After having read the front page story of the Sunday Times (31/01/2010), I feel compelled to write to you as this ordinary citizen that I am. Because I am a commoner, my judgement of your actions could be regarded as disrespect. Equally you might be indulging in all these sordid acts because you feel that you cannot be questioned and brought to book.

As a young man I have an interest in the way in which those in power are behaving, so as to ensure that we have good, moral and ethical leaders to look upon. A public figure who does not inspire confidence or do not conduct themselves in a manner that seek to inspire development of society, should be eliminated from the limelight and sent into the deepest of corners so that their misleading acts are shunned. To me you happen to be such an individual.

In your address during your inauguration and also in your first State of the Nation address, you emphasised greatly on moral regeneration. The reason why religion has seemingly failed to produce members that embody the values taught in religious institutions is because the preachers themselves are failing to be upright leaders who live out what they preach. You are such a preacher to me.

Given your past record that displays you as a man who is easily tempted by indulging in sexual intercourse, it is very difficult for me to throw water over the claims made by the Sunday Times. To me it is irrelevant that the person you impregnated is the daughter of Dr Irvin "The Iron Duke" Khoza, I would still feel the same way even if it was just yet another woman. If this baby was born under normal circumstances, it means that you must have slept with this lady around January 2009. During the same time you had already paid Lobola for Thobeka Madiba-Zuma and you were planning your wedding day with her. At the same time you were already having the pleasure of being attended to by two wives. I suppose given that you were busy campaigning for the 2009 General Elections, the challenges that you faced couldn’t be accommodated by your wives, you needed to find solace and release your masculine energy on another woman outside wedlock.

What nauseates me the most is the fact that this lady got pregnant, meaning you had unprotected sex yet again. To me it is clear that you have unprotected sex with your wives, because you do it so easily with "omakhwapheni". It means you are a risk to your wives, because you seem to be fishing for HIV, so that you can take the catch home and distribute it evenly amongst them. Unless there is preventive medication for HIV that you have and we the ordinary people do not have access to.

The Zulu Kingdom should be ashamed at how you have paraded their culture of polygamy, a culture that is in fact to me very demeaning of women. To me it symbolises true qualities of chauvinism and patriarchy, whereby if a man is not satisfied with one woman, then they can go get another. Meanwhile society would vilify a woman who would take a second man. Polygamy also promotes cheating on your wife, because you must first know the second wife, well in your case sixth, intimately on stolen moments away from your wife. So during that time you are lying to your wife or wives claiming to be seeing no one besides them and even to God, whom you made such a pact with when getting married.

Polygamy reduces women to objects that are used to just satisfy the egos of many men out there, who see having many women as a sense of superiority and achievement. To me this is a very small minded sense of thinking.

I cannot have you preach morality to me when you partake in such disgusting acts that make me feel if only I was not a South African. When a sex scandal broke off about Mr Bill Clinton, he had to step down as President of the USA. The President of the World Bank stepped down after such allegations were tabled against him. However to you it is just yet another day another dollar and nothing will happen, because you are hiding behind tradition and using it to camouflage your helpless sexuality.

You are a man who does not respect women clearly, a man who does not believe in treating your wives with the best respect they deserve. I doubt maKhumalo is happily married to you, but she is probably fearful of what shall become of her if she were to leave you. It is unfortunate that the majority of the people in your organisation find your acts acceptable; it goes to show how the morals of the ANC have become fragmented over the years.

You occupy the highest seat in our land and many people will find a way of using your acts to justify their mistakes and atrocious behaviours which resemble yours. You are not a beacon of hope to me, but rather that one of disaster.

It is impossible that you could raise all your 20 children, so it means that you promote unstructured families whereby kids grow up with single parents. You promote and justify cheating. You promote for society to discredit the three pillars of fighting HIV, because you do not Abstain, you do not get to Be Faithful, you do not Condomize.

What are you good for? Absolutely nothing. You are shaming our country and making it seem as if we are unable to be led by principled leaders.

You are a health risk to your wives, you are a financial risk to the taxpayers who must pay for your opulence and you still pledge your support to communists.

I ask of you to step down as President, before you turn South Africa into a quagmire that resembles your sexual life and its animalistic behaviours.

Written by: Lukhona Mnguni

"When do the whiteys have to start worrying?"

Those were the words asked by Andre Snyman, the creator of eBlockwatch, a security-conscious website and organisation, aimed at protecting people of all colours in SA against criminals.

What Andre does on eBlockwatch is commendable, but he has now become vocal in his criticism of things "non-white", and quite rapidly at that, I might add. I never expected this sort of commentary from him, so am quite concerned about it.

Anyway, have a read at what the black wife of a SA ambassador to the US said to him on the flight between Cape Town and Shit Towne...

That political time is upon is, I fear. Let's hope it's not going to happen...

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Hey Lady...

Hurry up and hang out your washing. We need a collective shit...

I couldn't resist taking that photo of the pigeons sitting on our washing line...