Ok, so now that I'm in Saudi Dryland, what happened en route?

Let me see...

We left Shit Towne an hour and a half late due to the plane arriving late, which goes to show how these things work. It obviously costs airlines money to park, and leave, a plane at an airport, so they fly them in, turn them around in as short a time as possible, change the crews and then throw them back into the air again. I suppose, with the reliability of engines these days, they can actually do that whereas in the old days, they would have to overhaul the engines first.

The flight was uneventful, except for some cow who pushed her seat so far back I could hardly move my knees (yes, I was in camel class), even after I banged on her headrest the first time she did it...bbeeeaaattccchhhh...

I watched a couple of good movies, "The Simpsons Movie" and the last Bruce Willis "Die Hard" film too. The latter was just to pass the time, so don't kak me out.

As we got into Dubai an hour and a half late, I decided that sleep was of more value than a trip around the old part of the city (and cheaper too). Emirates supplies everyone with a longhaul stopover with a room in their Millenium Hotel so I went and had about 5hrs sleep, a decent meal (also on Emirates in the hotel) and was then back at Dubai Duty Free after taking an hour to get through check-in and customs, by around 5:30pm. A couple of CD's later (Chris Cornell - Carry On, and John Mayer - Continuum) and it was time to go through the boarding gate. After about a half hour, we were herded on board and I was sat in the second last row of the big silver bird. It was actually quite a nice seat, a bit more legroom than the forward rows and right near the gally where we were served our meal first. With only just over an hour flight time to Riyadh, I watch an old episode of The Simpsons and then listened to some of the music channels. Incidentally, on the average Emirates flight these days, there are about 500 radio, music, TV and movie channels you can watch or listen to. Does anyone still remember the old days of air travel where everyone on the flight had to watch the same movie on the same big screen in the front of the cabin? LoL...

Anyway, customs in Riyadh was relatively painless but it still took a half hour more for my suitcase to arrive on the belt. My driver was the same one as last time, "Mr Happy" as I called him (not to his face though), but he was at least in a better frame of mind than last time, even though he still made me carry all my luggage myself (again).

We made small chat in the car about how the temperature had dropped, ("it's winter", he says to me, but it's still 25degC outside the airconned car) and the fact that I was going to a different hotel to last time due to the OPEC conference that's not starting until the 9th but they've booked all the hotels out already...bastards.

The hotel, to say the least, is a hole. It was once a hotel, but is now more like a doss house for ex-Iraqi officials. The place is decorated in the same style as you see in the movies, Turkish carpets on the floor and walls, large vases with nothing in them on marble tables, mirrors facing each other from opposing walls, that sort of thing. Then, of course, there's the chain-smoking Arabian fellow behind the marble Reception desk, looking and sounding a bit like Manuel from Fawlty Towers; same moustache, slightly different accent, same stupid look on his face.

I'm in Room 310, on the second floor (don't ask me...I thought it would be on the 3rd floor too). The bathroom has been recently refurbished and the tiles are as slippy as hell when they're wet. I struggle to turn around in the bath/shower, which is as narrow as George W's mind (speaking of whom, he hasn't written in a while, I wonder what's wrong?). The carpet has seen better days and instead of the original rich, brown, colour showing down along the walls, it is now a sandy sort of colour with a path worn down the middle. The bed looked great, until I sat on it and it creaked like a set of wooden stairs, even though it's firm and comfortable enough. Don't want to think about what's happened in it before I plonked my hairy Scots arse on it...{shiver}...

Anyway, due to the amount of airline food I'd consumed over the last couple of days I decided not to eat dinner, and would skip breakfast as well. Considering the new bed and pillows, I slept pretty well. Mr Happy picked me up at the hotel front door just before 8h30am, ten minutes early, and whisked me off to the office. "Whisked" is rather a lame word for how he drives. I wish I had a video camera to take some footage of it. It's like low flying a spaceship through an asteroid field...you don't see where the asteroids are coming from as they're all driving in the same manner, so your driver has to bob and weave his way to avoid them, all the while ignoring the little bell-thingy that sounds when he hits 120km per hour. And this is in a 60km/hr zone!!!! I shit you not! We get there in one piece though and I wonder if I should go and check my undies as I'm sure I followed through on one or two of the farts that escaped me as we ploughed head first through the asteroid field.

It's "hello"s all around in the office, among the "oh, you're back, how long this time?"s and I can see the sniggers on some of the British ex-pat faces as they know what I'm going through to get this job done. It's good to see Ahmed again, he's a decent and likeable Saudi (watch this video on YouTube and you'll understand why, after tonight, I won't be able to look him in the face without thinking "Silence! I keel you!") and he's just been appointed my contact in the customer office.

I pass a boring day in the office, meeting with CC to discuss a plan of action so that we can get the job done in the coming two weeks so that I, hopefully, don't have to come back again this year.

CC tells me of a little Thai restaurant down the road from the Roach Motel and I decide, after getting changed into jeans and Springbok t-shirt, to take a walk "down the road". It turns out to be about 2km "down the road", but it's a pleasant enough walk now that the evening temperature is down around 20degC. On the way down, there's a 2nd hand car dealer, which CC said I should have a look into. I can see why, as it's packed wall to wall with Lamborghini's, Maserati's, Ferrari's, Mercs, Bentley's...you name the sports car, it's there. And not one of them, judging by the paintwork, is 2nd hand. I think they're all brand new. I'll see if I can get a photo next time I go for a walk.

I didn't take a camera with me this evening, as I wasn't sure where, or for how long, I'd be walking. The restaurant is called "The Villa" (original name for a Thai eatery) and is literally the size of the average home kitchen. On top of that, there are two entrances (as there are to most restaurants in Riyadh), one for men only, and the other for families or couples. The waiters are all Thai-folks and so are the patrons sitting at two of the four tables. I get shown a chair (all old style formica and plastic kitchen furniture) and have a tatty menu shoved in front of me. The TV on the wall is showing Thai Boxing and, thankfully, the sound is turned down. I ask the waiter what he recommends I eat and decide on a prawn tempura (batter-fried prawns) and a chicken dish which supposedly has bay leaves in it. The tempura is quite good and has a sweet chilli sauce to drown the prawns in, while all I can see sticking out of the chicken dish are chillies and chillie pips. There's the odd green leaf as well, but I think they're chilli leaves to add a bit of heat to the already blistering dish. By the end of the chicken dish, I've cried, sweated, and blown my nose four times, all to the amusement of the waiter and the four Thai lads at the table under the TV. Strangely enough though, by about five minutes after I've finished eating, I can't taste the chilli any more which goes to show that there was only chili in it and no "extras" to add heat. Most importantly, it was tasty too and I might go back in a couple of days time when the ring sting has worn off. Best of all, the bill for the dishes and a Pepsi (Saudi champagne) came to SAR31, or 60 Souf Efrican Rant...cheap at the price.

So now I'm back in the Roachery, where the internet access is free, typing this posting. In about ten minutes, I'll be in my creaky bed hopefully getting a decent sleep in time for work tomorrow. I'll write some more in the next couple of days, if I can...

Hope the rest of you are doing okay...