Music to my ears (part 2)...

Further to my earlier list of songs and their reasons for influencing me, here's the next instalment:

Blondie (The Tide is High) - Because which teenage lad wasn't influenced by the luscious Debbie Harry?

Bob Dylan (Maggie's Farm) - The Poet Laureate, IMO. Good enough to receive the award, humble enough to turn it down.

Boston (Party) - Because everyone loves a good rock and roll party song. Many other Boston tracks could be listed here. I have memories of cruising down to the local beach in a friend's VW bug, Boston blaring out of my Hitachi boombox bought with my first salary cheque.

Boz Scaggs (What Do You Want the Girl to do?) - My first blues rock influence. Thanks, dad! And I still listen to the Silk Degrees album regularly, by far his best, IMO.

Bryan Adams (When You're Gone) - Another love lost...{sigh}...

Canned Heat (On the Road Again) - My favourite Woodstock track.

Carly Simon (Nobody does it better) - Smooth vocals.

Cee Lo Green (Bright Lights Bigger City) - Grate dance track with an excellent beat. Crank it.

Chicago (If You Leave Me Now) - Memories of slow dances with the girls at the club in the mid-1970s.

Chris Cornell (Arms Around Your Love) - Lonely times sitting in Dubai on project.

Chris Cornell (Billie Jean) - Yep, that Billie Jean. This version is raunchy, unlike MJ's bubblegum version. Crank it for goosebumps.

Chris Spedding (Motorbikin) - Influenced by my Uncle James when we went back to Scotland on holiday in 1975.

Christina Aguilera (Beautiful) - Sad song, but so much meaning to the lyrics. Phenomenal voice.

Coheed and Cambria (Ten Speed Of God's Blood and Burial) - Awesome rock track, stunning guitar riffs, sung by the guy with the biggest hair in Rock n Roll.

Cold Play (Sparks) - Heard for the first time somewhere in the Madagascar Channel on a boat, sailing to Zanzibar. Also gave M this album for her 40th birthday and she went searching the tracks for a hidden message... I thought it was obvious...

The Cranberries (Zombie) - RIP, Dolores. you were brilliant.

Crash Test Dummies (Swimming in your Ocean) - It's not often that you have to explain to your dad that he is singing about making love to a woman, but in this case I did...

Creed (With Arms Wide Open) - My favourite drunk karaoke song. I rock it.

Crowded House (Fall at your Feet) - First band I ever saw live, Standard Bank Arena Johannesburg, somewhere in the mid-1980s. Brilliant stage show.

Dance With a Stranger (African Road) - Underrated band, disappeared early in their career.

Dave Matthews Band (What Would You Say) - SA-born, moved to the USA in "protest" of conscription (chickened out, more likely). From his best album, IMO, "Under the table and Dreaming".

David Bowie (Aladdin Sane) - Memories of that first love, which also led to the eventual birth of my "Babe".

Dead or Alive (You Spin me Round) - Solo dancing on the floor at Nello's disco, Durban, mid-1980's. Entrance cost you ten bucks, your alcohol was free, you just had to pay for the mixers. Good times. Drunk times.

Deep Purple (Child in Time) - Ian Gillan's vocals were next level. Too many other DP tracks could be listed here too.

Del Amitri (It Might As Well Be You) - A track for future love.

Depeche Mode (Policy of Truth) - There are just waaaaay too many DM tracks I could list here. They are my favourite band of the New Wave era, and they have stood the test of time though there were a couple of hiccups along the way. There are always a large number of DM tracks on my New Wave playlist.

DNCE (Cake By The Ocean) - Great dance track. Crank it.

Dougie MacLean (Ae Fond Kiss) - Stunning version of Robert Burns' poem, sung by Scotland's favourite poet.

Duran Duran (Hold Back The Rain) - New Wave influence. Possibly one of their catchier tracks off the Rio album.

Dusty Springfield (Fine, Fine, Very Fine Love) - Debatably the finest female vocalist ever, sensual, perfectly in tune.

Edith Piaf (La Vie en Rose) - The best of her time. The rolling of the R's in typical French manner. And another love lost... {face palm}...

And that's me onto the E's already. Let's leave the list there for now...

Look after yourselves out there, folks. Be kind to each other...

Ren...

Chances are good that, like me, you've never heard of this young man.

I don't know his history but it sounds like he's had a hard life for one so young, unless it's part of his musical persona. I doubt it though. He seems genuine.

I posted earlier today about music I listen to and a short list of tracks and why they influenced me. In response, my musically like-minded daughter (my "babe" who also dislikes (c)rap music) answered my FB post asking if I'd heard of Ren and, in particular, his song called "Hi Ren".

I hadn't, so I went along to YT and did a quick search. I was pleasantly surprised. The man has talent, poetic talent.

The song might seem like a lot of noise or meaningless to some, but it's obviously about his struggles which he refers to in the narrated ending. Listening to the lyrics, he doesn't try to be poetically rhyming, but each line feeds from the previous into the next, telling a story of hope and struggle.

The track is nine minutes and some seconds long, but it's time well spent, I think. Take a listen and tell me what you think. I think it's genius.

Thanks, babe...♥️♥️

** UPDATE **

Since the posting above, I've listened to a half dozen or so of Ren's songs and come to the conclusion that his only difference to other rappers is his subject matter. While most "traditional" rap is militant in nature, Ren's is mental. His mental. I don't think the kid is all "quite there". Still, the "Hi Ren" track, I will concede, is quite brilliant. His other stuff though.......nope, not for me.

Look after yourselves out there, folks... Be kind to each other...

Music to my ears...

...that's all music. Well, except rap, which is actually a four letter word starting with a capital C.

Most of you who know me, and those that have read this blog, will know that music plays a large part in my life.

It doesn't matter where you are, what you're doing, what you're experiencing, who you're with, who you want to be with, who you used to be with, even who YOU are, there will be a song that will perfectly describe you or any of the emotions you are going, or have been, through. The song probably won't come to you at that precise moment, but even after some time a song will play that you'll think, "That song reminds me of xxxxx".

Music may not always bring good memories either. Too many of us have gone through heartbreaking times, but still a song will come on and remind us of a particular person, place or event. Music in all its forms, is emotional. Music can be happy or sad, or bring on an emotional response in memory of a good or bad experience, person, place, etc. And the emotions that surface hearing that song are sometimes healthy, remind us of things, people or experiences we had forgotten recently.

Music may bring us out of a funk that we'd settled inadvertently into. Only when a particular "happy place" song comes on, we realise we'd taken a bit of a slump that we need to drag ourselves out of.

My personal collection ranges from the old classics, Beethoven, Bach, Rachmaninov and those lads, through all genres (yes, even (c)rap though I seldom listen to that) to the hardest of metal rock you can think of, like Disturbed, System of a Down, Rob Zombie, just to name a few. There is a song for every possible emotion I could have, or have had.

Some music sticks with you through the years, music that you were either influenced by a parent, or you heard in your teenage years with friends, music by bands that you saw play live on stage. Some music gets reintroduced at a later point in life that you ignored or poo-poo'ed when you were younger that you come back to in later years and admit to yourself that it is actually pretty damn good music and you should have listened to more of it at the time instead or rubbishing it straight away. Maturity will do that for you as well.

Other music will catch your ear as you grow up, through various ways and influences: radio, TV, social media (probably the biggest influence these days). I've picked up on some music through the intros to TV series, movie soundtracks, even adverts.

And biggest point of all, music is personal. It doesn't matter what others think of your choice of music. Or, if it does, it shouldn't. Music is like your personality, it is yours. It adds to what makes you, you. And bugger anybody that says otherwise. If people turn their nose up at your playlist or choice of song, that's their problem, not yours. The song was/is your experience. Yes, you may change your playlist when you have friends over for dinner or a social event to suit the event, but you will always go back to the music that is your current biggest influence. If you don't, you're not being honest with yourself.

Sitting here, I've gone through three different genres of music already, purely because I've started off with one (Duran Duran, New Wave music), to Dusty Springfield (60's female vocal) and am now listening to Stone Temple Pilots (grunge). It's one of those days when you say to yourself "Okay, scroll down the playlist five times and whatever is on screen, play it". Kinda like the YouTube rabbit hole of music videos.

If I had to list some of my recent music choices, and why I chose them, they would include the following:

Savannah Pope (He Sees Me) - A feelgood song, but the emotion behind her being accepted by him for what she is. On top of that, she has a great voice. Those notes she hits are amazing.

Talk Talk (It's my Life) - See above description of music being personal. And New Wave was part of my late teen years.

Tears for Fears (Advice for the Young at Heart) - Rushing into relationships. A weakness of mine? Certainly in my youth.

B52s (Love Shack) - My happy song. Instantly takes me to a happy place.

Shinedown (Get Up) - When I'm in a funk, this one sorts me out. It screams "Get out of it. There's more to life than what's happening now. This is temporary."

30 Seconds to Mars (A Beautiful Lie) - Memory of an event that happened 25yrs ago. "M" didn't like a painting I had which depicted prancing horses, so she gave it (supposedly) to a young girl she knew that had her own pony. She, however, told me a beautiful lie to cover up her getting rid of the painting. Needless to say, I made her get it back. I still have it.

A Flock of Seagulls (I Ran) - Another New Wave influence. Great dance track.

Alphaville (A Victory of Love) - New Wave influence, but a great track that starts off slowly and crashes into a great beat.

Alterbridge (Fable of the Silent Son) - "M" introduced me to these guys, the remnants of Creed after they split up. Possibly better than Creed, due to Myles Kennedy's influence and great vocals.

Bachman Turner Overdrive (Not Fragile) - Teenage years influence, when rock was giving way to a different type of rock. Along with Bad Company, Deep Purple, Status Quo, Thin Lizzy, to name a few.

Basia (Cruising for Bruising) - A memory of a lover. She'll know who she is........

Beach Boys (Surfin USA) - Memories of my days spent in the salt water, usually two hours at a time. Go to nightshift, 7am cycle to North Beach (Durban), surf two hours, go home, eat, sleep, repeat.....good times.

Beethoven (Overture Leonore No3 C-major) - Memories of peaceful Sunday mornings.

Beth Hart (Get Your Shit Together) - Title says it all... Came across this version while doing the YT-rabbit-hole thing. The raunchiness of Beth's voice is gripping and Joe Bonamassa on guitar is brilliant.

Big Country (In a Big Country) - Memories of Scotland.

To be continued...... I've only just scraped the surface (only just started on B) and there are just too many tracks to list in one posting...

Look after yourselves out there, folks...

I think we all want this...

Who wouldn't, because then you would know you've done your bit and nothing more could have been expected of you...

Look after yourselves out there, folks... 

Today was a good day...

For the first time in three weeks, I got on a bicycle. On purpose.

With the ribs having been less sore than the last couple of weeks, I decided to wake up with the sparrow fart this morning and join the road bike crew for a Speedsnake session on the Swartvlei road. This session is usually done on a Tuesday, but it was raining yesterday morning so it was postponed to today.

I just wanted to see if I could comfortably ride a bike but especially the road bike because there is no suspension on those bikes, unlike the dual suspension on the mountain bike. If the ribs hurt too much on the ride, I could always turn around and abort the ride.

Leaving the driveway in the very early morning light, bike lights lighting my way down to the starting point, I was surprised to find only a small niggle on the "floating rib". The back side ribs weren't complaining at all. Things were looking up, so I continued to meet up with the crew.

Having not seen me for a while, many were surprised I was there as it is only three weeks since the injuries, but being the great bunch of people they are, welcomed me back and asked after my health.

We set off at a pace faster than usual, then settled into a peleton formation for the couple of km's on the highway, before turning off onto the Swartvlei road.

At the beach parking area, my Mr Miyagi took the customary group photo for posting on the cycling group Whatsapp chat page later.

A quick digression...."my Mr Miyagi" is my very good friend who got me interested in cycling, despite my vowing never to do so when we lived in Cape Town. He has been cycling for many years and, even in his early 70s is still one of the strongest riders here. I use the term Mr Miyagi in the fondest of terms as he is my mentor (in life, as well as cycling) just as the youngster had his Mr Miyagi in the old film, Karate Kid. He has taught me most of what I know and do in riding a bike, and I can definitively say I have learned from one of the best.

Back to the ride...

We cruised up and down the flat road, doing about a half dozen laps, then headed up the hill on the highway for a short hill climb before heading back to our usual coffee stop at a local eatery.

I was very happy with my ride, especially as I haven't ridden for three weeks, and didn't feel too tired at the end of it once I got home up the last hill.

So guess where I'll be heading at 06h15 tomorrow morning... Yep, tomorrow being Thursday is also road bike day, so I'll be out there again.

As much as I needed, and enjoyed, the time off the bikes, it was damn good to be back on the road again today...

Look after yourselves out there, folks... 

Big Brother is definitely watching...

Ever since I started writing my blog again and posting links to the articles on my FB feed, I've started getting all sort of sentimental images and sayings, even poetry (much of which I don't mind), coming up on my FB feed, like something (it's certainly not "someone") out there is reading/analysing whatever I post, deciding I need a bit of mental adjustment and has started making all these pages visible to me.

In many cases, they can be a bit depressing, but some are welcome and help my thought processes. It's just a bit disconcerting that Big Brother is trying to influence me without being asked...

Here are some examples:

Ok, that's enough. All those images were literally within a couple of spins of my mouse wheel. I think you see my point.

Look out, folks, Big Brother AI is definitely watching...

Make a new life for yourself, they said...

That is such a tough line to think about, let alone act on.

As many of you know, after 25yrs together, my M was admitted to a local care facility, already two months ago to the day, because of her Alzheimers/dementia.

I was told by a few people, some very close friends, and even the manager at the care facility that I now need to go out and create a new life for myself, that I need to move on. That's all fine and well and easy for them to say, but it is a mammoth task.

For one, I have responsibilities. They extend, firstly and foremostly, to M. She is still with us, is still my wife, is still a part of my life albeit in a very different context. She requires care on a daily basis, supplied by the carers. She also requires care going into the future if something terminal should happen to me. I'm only a person in an ageing body and it could desert me at any time, one never knows, so I've made financial arrangements for her continued care.

Next, I have mom and nephew (often referred to by myself as the Nephewmonster) also living with me. They too require daily care, but for different reasons. Nephew is only 11yrs old and growing fast, but could still be around for a few more years until he makes his own way out into the world. Mom is getting frail and is 81yrs old, cannot do too much before her COPD kicks in and takes the breath out of her.

Lastly, I have a responsibility to myself. I'm pretty much chief-cook-and-bottlewasher around the house for the three of us, but when I'm not cracking ribs passing bicycles over gates or rescuing upturned tortoises, I need to look after myself mentally and physically. Without me being in as good a condition as I can keep myself in, I run the risk of incapacitation, or worse, which could be catastrophic for my "lodgers".

So, how does one "make a new life" for oneself?

As the author, and in my opinion, it has to be done on physical and mental levels.

The physical side is, in my case, relatively easy. I walk and cycle when I can. Since being off the bikes with the sore ribs, I've walked an average of 10km a day. Before I hurt the ribs, I was cycling anywhere up to, and sometimes over, 250km a week. I feel great, and am the lightest and fittest I've been in about 20yrs. I think I've got the physical side sorted out (if I stay away from gates and tortoises). As an aside, I got back on a bike today for the first time in three weeks...woohoo...

The mental side is a bit trickier. There are so many levels of mental wrestling I have to go through in my situation.

The biggest challenge, still, is the guilt I feel whenever I leave M after a visit. I don't know how long that will last, or if it will even go away. I suspect it might last until some time after she forgets who I am or what my name is, because then I will know she is definitely not herself anymore, not mine anymore.

The next biggest challenge, I feel, is the loneliness, particularly at night when I turn over onto my left side in bed and see the empty space where M used to be. During the day is okay because I'm active in some form or other for most of it, but it hits home at night. Sometimes I'm okay with being alone, others not so much. I'm guessing that's because M has been there for 25yrs and now I have a hollow spot in her place. I don't mind my own company for the most part, but there comes a time when a bit of conversation or companionship would be comforting. Which leaves me with a conundrum...

People tell me (even encourage me) to go out and seek companionship, perhaps even a relationship. Do you see where I'm going with this?

If you don't, do you remember what marriage vows are, what they say about "in sickness and health"? Right. Now we're on the same page, and there's my conundrum. How do I go out and engage in new companionship or a relationship, without another layer of guilt slapped on top of the current?

Yes, I know it may be something I "just" have to deal with, something to put my "big girl panties on" for, should the time arise. Maybe I just need to believe that, under the circumstances, it's okay to be doing this, that it is justified, maybe even that it's what M would want that I be happy? (That's such a fuckin' cliche...)

Maybe I just need to say "fuck it" and go with the flow, see where whatever it is takes me and deal with the issues as I go along, be honest with myself and the other person/s involved.

So, yeah, go out and make a new life for yourself, indeed... 😵

FFS...people are going to read the blog posts of the last couple of weeks and start spinning their index fingers around next to their temples in an indication of "Man, this guy's lost it...cuckoo". I can assure you, folks, I'm really okay. I'm just letting my keyboard diarrhoea out, venting thoughts, emotions.

Look after yourselves out there, folks...