On Project in Dubai - Part 2

Ok, so last time I was told by the PM to get some more rest...blah, blah, blah...

In the end, I ended up doing more email and web browsing. My phone will not receive any calls or sms's - no idea why, but must be the network operator/provider, of which there are only 2 in Dubai, Etisalat and Du (short for DUH, I think).

The only one that connects on roaming for any length of time is Du and no amount of fiddling with settings has changed anything. I can send sms's but not receive, go figure.

Anyway, about midday the PM comes up on IM and I feel guilty enough to say I was just on my way out the door to go to the office.

I get my shit together and down to the door for a taxi after changing some USD for AED (Dirhams). The damn internal claims system will not allow us to claim our per diem allowance in advance anymore and I have to fork out my own cash until I can get home and claim. Fuckup, corporation, fuckup...

For USD1 you get AED3.56 at the hotel desk so I change USD25 - figure it out for yourself what I got in local money.

Into a taxi, aircon belting cool air out, and straight back out the way I had come in last night towards the office.

En route, the Paki driver starts talking and it's either he is speaking Paki or else his "Engrish" is not good. the latter is right as I eventually pick up on a word and his accent, and it becomes a little easier.

He suddenly asks me "what is a canned message?" and I'm like "WTF?". After repeating himself about five times, he points to the meter screen. "Message come here", he says, "What mean?" and I'm "Uuhhh, dunno dude, must have something to do with the taxi system". Then he hauls out a tatty Oxford Dictionary, circa 1965, and says "Engrish no so good" and I have to politely tell him it's not too bad.

When I look up the word "canned" in the dictionary it gives a meaning that it could be something "pre-set" or "pre-prepared" so I figure I'll tell him it's a pre-set message that the system is programmed to send at an event, whatever that may be.

"Ahhh, event", he says "Event on now. You know tennis? Lots of events in Dubai. Tennis on now. ATP." So I tell him him "Ok. Good.", just to shut him up.

"What means this message" pointing to the screen again, "when says 'Ok to dep'?" What? All of a sudden I'm a fuckin' expert at canned taxi system messages? Fuckoff...

"Ummm, probably means it's okay to depart", I tell him. "Ahhh, okay" says Numpty. For all I know it was Arabic code for "Ok to deploy explosive device in taxi", FFS...

All the time I'm watching the meter wondering how long my AED are going to last at this rate. When we finally pull up at the office, it reads AED36.50 (ZAR73!!). I hand Numpty AED40 in exchange for a little piece of paper, also known as a receipt. At least I can claim the trip back, minus the tip.

In the office, the three of us get together and discuss the difficulties of the client (aren't they all fuckin' difficult?) and we swap some ideas and documents for a couple of hours. I grab myself a cup of espresso from a machine in the foyer for AED2 (ZAR4...bargain) and only when I get to the bottom of, having thought it was just exceptionally strong coffee, do I find the sugar in a translucent mass.

Then I notice the the "Metro" is running. It's an elevated train system which was under construction when I was last here, 3 years ago.

It runs the straight line between the hotel and the office so right away I'm on the web having a look at prices. As it happens, there's a 300m walk from station to hotel or office at either end, a multi-use card which costs AED20, of which AED14 is fare you can use, and you can recharge the card as required. Best of all, a one-way trip is only AED5.40!! Fuck the taxi!!

A pleasant 15min ride from station to station, no worrying about how badly a taxi is being hurtled from lane to lane and whether I'm going to survive the ordeal, just a smooth train ride. What a pleasure. On top of it all, it is completely automated, not even a driver onboard. If it's late, you know there's been a breakdown, which there has never been since the rail was opened a year ago. And it is dead quiet except for the whine of the electric motors, even though it runs on rails. The wheels are completely silent.

Back in the hotel, I fiddle with the cell settings again, but still no incoming calls or sms's. I finish off some email and decide to head down to the gym. I had promised myself I would make the effort seeing as I had no other chores or responsibilities while away from home.

I do 30min on a treadmill, then some situps and light weights on my arms then decide I've had enough and go and get changed back into jeans for dinner. Which is where I am right now. I've just had a steak pie, chips and side salad, as well as a pint and a half of Murphy's stout (almost like Guinness).

I'll go back up to my room shortly and browse through more work documents for tomorrow before, hopefully, having a good night's sleep. I'm exhausted.


Part 3 to follow...