Some One-Liners, translated from Afrikaans...

Just so that some of the other nations can have a laugh too. Some of them are brilliant...

She has so many wrinkles, she has to screw her hat on!
I am now so lazy my backside is hanging open!
He is so thin, he looks like a pencil with a handbreak!
I'm as excited as a Budgie on steroids!
I'm as lazy as a bee - I do not want to sting - I just want to hang around the cake a while!
I was so drunk last night when I woke up this morning I was hanging on the chair and my clothes lay in bed!
I am now so keen for a Rennies I think I'll eat a pie!
You're so squint you can look yourself in the eyes!
Out of sitting or standing, lying down is still the best.
He's so short he does not know whether he has a sore throat or piles!
He was so thin when he walked along a white wall it looked like a crack was moving!
He is so cunning, he prays under a pseudonym!
I'm going to hit you so hard that you'll feel like doing nothing!
I am now sitting so nicely I might just get up and sit down again.
As long a face as a goat eating downhill.
Liquor may not solve problems, but neither does milk or water.
I feel so good now, I might just fill in the lotto numbers incorrectly.
I am so lazy I might just marry a pregnant woman.
Experience is something you only get after you need it.
Everybody gets the privilege to be stupid, just a pity some people abuse it.
I'm so pissed off, I could just kiss a puff adder open-mouthed.
My wife is so ugly, when she sits on the beach, cats want to cover her up!
Eagles may fly high but our mongooses are never sucked into an aircraft engine.
All men are on earth with a certain amount of work to do. Right now I am so far behind I will never die.
Not all of us can be heroes, someone has to stands and clap hands at the side of the road as we go by.
I believe that if something was worth doing someone would have done it long ago.
You should never exceed the weight of your refrigerator!
If you can laugh at yourself then you always have something to laugh at.
If you look like your passport picture, you have a need to travel.