The words of Billy Connolly resonate (rather loudly) in my head this morning...

A few years ago, Billy wrote some alternative lyrics to the old folks song "As Usual"...sing along if you like (but not too loudly please)...

I woke up with an achin' head
as usual
I can't remember goin' to bed
as usual
My stomach's feelin' very queer
I've got a thunder storm in my left ear
It must have been McEwan's beer
as usual

Oh we sucked the drink up like a hoover
as usual
The cheap wine and the paint remover
as usual
And somewhere deep inside my brain
I seem to hear a diesel train
And I promise not to drink again
as usual

I woke up in a public park
as usual
I must have crawled there after dark
as usual
Oh I'd better see how much I've got
Oh Jesus Christ I've spent the lot
I must have been a drunken sot
as usual