Proud Uncle...that's me...

 Why, what have you done, you might ask. Not that much, actually. Just given a sad young lad the tools to create a new image of, and for, himself.

I could say that I've done this, or that, even embellish a few things to make me look like a hero, when in reality, he has done most of it himself.

True, I've done things like get him out of the house and away from the mind-numbing mostly PG18-rated video games my brother bought for his Xbox (though he still has a couple of age-appropriate games on his tablet) and the sedentary life he was immersed in because of them. I've changed, no, I've overhauled his diet from the junk food and crap he had been fed at home to healthy, balanced, home-cooked meals. I've tried, and succeeded in part measure, to instil in him a sense of discipline and respect for himself and his circle of friends and family (there's still some work to be done there). I've tried to be friend, confidant, uncle, and dare I say it, a parent to him.

Some will know, but for those that don't, I'm referring to my nephew (in keeping with tradition, I'll refer to him as N).

For someone so young (currently 11yrs old) N has had a tough life so far. His mother deserted him and my brother about 8yrs ago and moved back to Cape Town (that's another tale of misery altogether). She has seen him, I believe, exactly once in that time. She has never asked, nor made the effort, to see him in the last 19mths that he has been with me. Legally, I can't stop her seeing him, but I would resist it with whatever means I needed. She is not a nice person.

For a few years, my brother took care of N as best he saw fit, but which in the end, contributed to where the lad ended up when I went to collect him on 1st September 2023. The reason I had to do so was because my brother took a step off a high ladder and took his own life and deserted the boy too.

I spent a week or so sorting out my brothers affairs in the little KZN town where they lived. He left no Will, just a texted Whatsapp message to myself with some information and instructions and justifying why he had done it. My brother and I never really saw eye-to-eye, in fact he threatened to kill me on more than one occasion, and his suicide left me with even less good to say about him not that there would have been much to start with (sorry mum, I know you're going to read this, but that's how it is).

My brother forgot that with his suicide things would be simpler for only himself. Some people say it takes bravery to commit suicide, but I say it is cowardice to take the easy way out of life and your commitments, especially to your children. Everybody my brother left behind suddenly had another complexity to add to their already complex lives. Someone had to take care of his boy, so me as the eldest and closest family member, had to step up. So much for my retirement.

Back at home, we went through some major challenges with N, typical of a child who had been neglected and basically left to his own devices. My sister had the perfect word for him, "feral". He was, essentially, wild.

Fast-forward 19mths, a new home, a new school, new friends, a more settled home life, all the changes and challenges I mentioned or hinted at earlier, and the lad is a changing person. It hasn't been easy, for anyone here, but he is becoming the proverbial butterfly. The people around him have given him the tools to evolve, but he has made the greatest sacrifices in time and effort himself to make that evolution.

When he arrived to stay with me, the boy weighed 82.4kg. When he was weighed yesterday, he was down to 61kg......a massive weight loss of over 21kg!! And on top of that, he has grown in height by more than a foot. Quite remarkable.

You take a look at the "then and now" photos below and make up your own mind how remarkable it is that he has changed himself in a relatively short period. Then you will see why I am so proud of him.

Look after yourselves out there, folks...