Ok, so now that I sort of have some time...

I'm going to bore you with what I've been up to for the last week or so. I'll start on Friday last week, which turned out to be a long, hard, day. It was Steph's birthday (45 years young in man-speak, or 21 in woman-speak) and she'd told me (on numerous occasions previously) that all she wanted as a gift was for me to paint the bedroom (something I'd been threatening to do for a while as it's one of my renovation projects anyway). I had also started a week prior to that, organising a surprise party for her, inviting the "usual suspects" as well as a few other good friends (Max and Princess, Paulo and Teresa). All was set for it, I had planned my day almost down to the last minute, as I usually do. On the Wednesday, I'd gone to our local Pick'n'Pay (Tesco's in the UK) and ordered three large platters of snacks (fucked if I was going to stand and make up loads of snacky sandwichy things myself) and made a list of everything else I needed to buy like crisps, dips, peanuts, desserts, that sort of stuff. I was expecting about 14 or 15 adults and a few rugrats. Anyway, come Friday morning, I'm up reasonably early (7am) and dressed without showering as I usually do (alarm bell number 1 for Steph). I have a cup of coffee, a slice of toast (alarm bell number 2 as I don't usually have breakfast) and I hover around between feeding the dogs, watching Sky News and wandering in and out of the kitchen where Steph is preparing her lunch for work (alarm bell number 3 as I usually fire up the laptop around 8am if I'm working from home). I had anticipated starting the bedroom at around 8am, or 8h15 at the latest, but Steph was slower in getting out of the house than usual and I finally got going just short of 9h30. A quick recalculation of the schedule in my mind and I got into the garage for some tools. Talk about "Extreme Makeover - Bedroom"...which is exactly what it was. When I finished at 15h30, I had: - Removed the curtains from the rails and packed them onto the study floor - Packed all the bedding onto the study floor in a knotted bundle - Packed all the crap from under the bed into the cupboards where it should have been in the first place - Moved the chest of drawers into the passage outside the room - Shouted at Duke, barking at the passing people, to "shut the fuck up while you can still do so voluntarily" - Moved the two large bedside tables into the main-en-suite bathroom - Dismantled the bed and stacked it against the bedroom cupboard - Removed the artwork from the walls - Filled the holes in the walls - Filled the gaps between the cornice and walls with acrylic cement - Found the tins of paint (that we'd bought about a year earlier) in the garage cupboard - Mixed the paint with the new whisk that I'd bought on Wednesday (just attach it to a variable speed drill and it's like working in a paint shop) - Found a substitute colour for the ceiling as one of the smaller tins we had bought had disappeared - Painted a thick coat on the cornice so that I would only have to do it once - Rolled two coats on the ceiling - Painted, with a brush, around the window and door frames - Rolled on two coats of paint on the walls (without any noticeable splashes on the carpet) - Got rid of all the paint materials and tools - Vaccuumed the carpet - Reverse-engineered the bedroom furniture and reassembled the whole lot I then got in the car, unwashed except for my hands, and went and picked up the snacks and bought the other goodies and some coldrink, beer and scotch. With a bit of difficulty in getting the snack platters back to the house in the Ranger (trying to drive with one hand while stopping them from sliding all over the place in the back), I eventually got home and unpacked the lot at which time Steph comes home and says "Ok, what's going on? Where's the dinner you're supposed to be cooking for me?" She then sees the platters on the table, which I'd moved against the wall to open up the floor and says "Oh fuck, you've arranged a party." "Yes dear, I say" and she immediately goes into catering mode as I "hadn't thought about the kids" that were coming. Actually I had, and if they weren't allowed to drink beer or scotch, too bad. There was plenty of coldrink and I'd asked everyone to only bring their alcoholic drinks along. Everyone was under strict orders not to bring a gift as Steph didn't want any. Into the kitchen went Steph, preparing a large pot of homemade soup, especially for the kids and whomever hadn't had time to have dinner and wouldn't be sated by the snacks. I set about tidying up the place, shoving more junk into cupboards and behind couches, bringing in some firewood for when I would be told to show off the new fireplace. Once I was satisfied that everything was ready, around 18h30, I went for the S,S,S,S,S treatment (shit, shower, shampoo, shave, shumshing to eat - only S that was missing from that lot was Shag, but then there wasn't much time before people were supposed to arrive. It would have to wait.) About ten minutes after I get dressed and my first drink poured, Paulo and Teresa arrive...early for a change. Then it was like a floodgate opening with everyone else arriving within a space of 10 minutes...brilliant, cos then I didn't have to keep running in and out of the house to open the gate. As is usual with our group of friends, everyone brought Steph a gift and she appreciates every one of them. We had a great time, great music in the background, a load of drinks floating around (judging by the floor the following morning) and a load of catching-up conversation as we had pretty much ignored our friends since starting the building of the lounge. Everyone was holed up inside the house, except for the smokers who ventured outside on occasion, as it is still winter here and pretty chilly at night. The fireplace was a huge hit, with a few friends stating that they either wish they had one, or were going to install one. Steph took a few of the ladies in to look at the newly-painted room, and all were suitably impressed at how quickly it had all gone. I had to apologise to a few of the guys who told me that they would now be expected to perform the same miracle in their own homes. By around 23h00, the die-hards were the only ones left and we were all huddled around the fireplace, onto the single malt scotch for a few of us, the rest sticking to their red wine or beer. I brought out the absynthe for a couple of the ladies who professed to it being quite nice (no, Cuzzin, I didn't tell them the alcohol content) and who were interested when it turned white after pouring a little water into it. Steph apparently told everyone, at odd occasions through the night, that she had never seen me so tired. Little fuckin' wonder, considering what I'd been through that day. In all honesty, I can't say that I'd felt that physically tired in a long time...mentally tired, yes, as my job consists of sitting behind a laptop or in meetings, but not physically. Just short of midnight, the last of the guests leave and we start tidying up. Only clearing away the bigger stuff, I tell Steph to leave the floor for morning. At around 10am, I finally decide to clamber out of bed as I was alone anyway. Staggering through to the kitchen for coffee, I find a note that Steph had left for me. She'd taken the dogs to the vet for booster injections and a joyride in the Ranger. No mention of the floor, but I see that it hasn't been mopped. Ah fuckit, I think to myself and find the mop and bucket outside the back door. Halfway through the clean, Steph and the dogs arrive home and she makes some French Toast for breakfast, my favourite. Another cup of coffee, and I feel totally useless for the day. Steph's off to meet up with some friends, so she leaves me to vegetate on the couch watching the Springboks get an absolute fuckin' hiding (49 - 0) from the Aussies. I end up dozing off on the couch trying to get rid of a mild headache (not sure what that was from :-) Saturday evening passed uneventfully, and we had a nice quiet evening. On Sunday morning, we were up reasonably early (8am) having breakfast on the patio, watching and listening to the birds on the feeders. We then had to go off to the airport to meet some other friends (ex-pats) who had arrived the week before from Switzerland and had been spending the last week with family in Port Elizabeth. They were en route to Mauritius for a week and, when we'd met them the Friday they'd arrived, we'd brought some of their unneeded luggage back to the house to keep for them. Today, we had to exchange cases so that they could take their "warm weather holiday" gear with them and leave the "cold weather holiday" suitcases with us at the house. They arrive back this coming Saturday, will stay with us for the night and we'll have a lunch for some of their old friends on Sunday before dropping them back at the airport on Sunday evening for their flight home. Back to the boring story...At about 12h30, Scott and Trevor arrive at the house as we'd arranged to go to the Glasgow Rangers / Mamelodi Sundowns football match. The 'Gers were on a short pre-season tour and, little known to me, had also played the previous day in Bloemfontein, about 350km from Johannesburg. They'd won that game, against Cosmos, two goals to one, and we were expecting the same result for the Joburg game. Ha fuckin' ha...'Downs were all over Rangers, who were playing in an unusual change strip of white shirts and red shorts, obviously not having had the time to wash the blue strip from the night before. In the end, Rangers lost two nil, and a deserved beating it was too. We hadn't a fuckin' clue, giving away a blatant penalty in the 20th minute right in front of the referee, and a second goal about 5mins into the second half. Sundowns could have scored a few more, as they were catching us with the long cross from the right wing to the centre, every time. It almost looked like Rangers had fielded a team of kids, judging by the size of the players and the youthful look on their faces. What made the game worse was the fact that the organisers had decided not to sell beer in the stadium, or even on the premises. We were gobsmacked. Personally, yet another reason not to have the World Cup here in 2010. Can you imagine getting tens of thousands of thirsty football fans here and telling them "sorry, no beer"?? There'll be a fuckin' riot to pale the Sharpeville riots of the 70's into insignificance and we'll have to declare another public holiday because of it. And that's just because of the riots from the Scots and Irish supporters, never mind the rest. So, three 500ml Cokes later, bladder bursting, and with Aberdeen (also on tour with Rangers) also getting a 2 - 0 beating from Cosmos, we get back in the car and head home. A good, though alcohol-free, day at the ballgame. What's left of the weekend passes seated in front of the telly and Monday rolls around too soon again. Quite a weekend, huh?? The only thing interesting thats happened through the week, so far (and aside from the sadness of Pandora's passing), is that yesterday I told my boss (one of them anyway, I actually have three) that I'm fed up doing what I'm doing for the pissy little salary that I get every month. I'm doing the job of a Principal Consultant (basically developing the consulting business in a sales role) which is a grade higher than I am at the moment and a higher salary level. I also found out my salary is toward the bottom of my grade's range, and the 3% increase I got this year (again) for the amount of effort I'm putting in (as a "2 performer", which is only beaten by a "1 performer"), doesn't help my morale. I also had an internal interview with the manager of our Systems and Technology Group for a position he has open, and by the sounds of things, he wants me to start tomorrow. Good news for me, cos I can now tell my manager (the one I had the discussion with) that I could be outta there before he can say "revenue", which is all he fuckin' thinks about. The STG manager is someone I would far rather work with, having worked for him before. Essentially, the new job will be starting up a new training section for the STG division, getting in some skills to perform technical education for clients and IBMers, and maybe even doing some lecturing myself. Not something I can do at present, as my technical skills need refreshing, but I have a strong technical background and can do some quick catch-up. It'll be quite a challenge, but I'm up to it after 5yrs of consulting. So...now that you all know what I've been up to, don't you wish I would write more often and not have to write these novels? Hope everyone is well...