What would you do if you had the means...

to give everyone one wish? I was reading through some of my regular blogger's pages and there's a common theme to them (for some strange reason or other). Every one of them either has, or wants to, travel. That would be my gift to everyone who has the desire to see somewhere different than the four walls in which they live. Think carefully about it, pick a spot in the world you would like to see, here you go, here's your ticket to ________. I've had the privilege to travel quite widely, most of which has been done within the boundaries of South Africa (in fact, I've seen more of SA than most locals have..top to bottom and left to right, right around the coastline). I've also been to Dallas and Florida in the States, twice seen the southern part of Ireland from Dublin to the West Coast (fantastic), Zurich and the Alps in Switzerland, Canterbury in England, my home country Scotland (small enough to travel around it in one day, which we did...Edinburgh to Inverness, down past Oban and Sterling to Glenrothes and back to Edinburgh in 16hrs), Lagos in Nigeria (way different to anywhere else you might go), Mozambique from the southern SA border up to Inhambane (500km north of Maputo - wonderful beaches), and Dar es Salaam in Tanzania (arse-end of the world, that was). My greatest trip, however, and I have mentioned it before, was sailing from Durban to Zanzibar, for which I still need to blog the diary, as promised. I'll get round to it one day. So...in the words of {nnggggggg} Microsoft, "Where do you want to go today?"

Ok, so it's time...

to create a new posting and let the world know it hasn't got rid of me yet... The only reason I haven't put anything out recently is that things are extremely busy on this side of nowhere. Work is keeping me going through the day, to such an extent that, by the time 17h00 comes around I resolve to switch the laptop off until the following morning unless there's something urgent to complete. And that's from starting anywhere between 08h00 and 09h00. On top of that, there's meetings to attend and, as usual, they're not always the best use of one's time. On the home-front, things are at a virtual standstill on the building of the lounge, with the project manager always full of excuses as to why there are delays. To you lot out there who are considering building, or adding to your homes, put penalty clauses into the agreement. Hindsight is wonderful... Consider the photo to the left of this paragraph. It's a photo of my 19yr old daughter's back, or at least the new tattoo on it. As much as it's a nice picture and the artist has some talent, she really hasn't gone into this with any forethought of future consequences. Yeah, I know it's her body and her life, and, and, and, and all the other arguments, but she's only 19 and has a future ahead of her in which she can never be certain how body art will be received. Yeah, I know companies are not supposed to discriminate on the basis of loads of things, but face it, that's in an ideal world. She has a full career ahead of her and if someone senior sees it, it will probably be used against her at some point. And yes, she knows I'm disappointed in her for not thinking further ahead and going on impulse. Maybe I am an old fuddy-duddy at 43, but I have the benefit of age and experience. Incidentally, I have two tattoo's, one of Taz on my left shoulder and one, taken from the Scottish Rugby Union website of a thistle in the shape of a rugby ball, on the back of my right calf...both of which are unseen in normal workwear. The last two weeks have been an absolute alcoholic blur. It all started when my best mate (and brother I wished I'd had) Al, arrived from Houston as guest speaker at a seminar I hosted. He's been here a few times before, but this is the first time from the States. In previous visits, he'd been based in the UK, and he'd only had to endure a "normal" overnight flight. This time it took him almost two days to get here. Flight BA55 arrived at 07h00 or so, and after we'd sorted out a problem with Al's ATM card (wish the USA would get on the same systems as the REST of the world), we headed out for a breakfast, getting there at 10h30 and, you guessed it...the mail plane had flown over already so the bar was open. That was the start of a long Saturday, ending at about 21h30 or so when Al couldn't keep his eyes open any longer, and which somewhere in the middle included me getting my head shaved in support of Cancer Day. The following morning we were up early for a 2-hour drive to the seminar venue, Bakubung Bush Lodge in the heart of the Pilanesberg National Park (where we took daughter Tami and Cuzzin Ross earlier this year). After a couple of sessions, it was off for a game drive where we saw, mostly the "usual suspects" but also a lone male lion. The Pilanesberg had had a very bad bush fire a few weeks ago where a number of elephants were badly burned, some dying from their wounds, and the park rangers had left one of the carcasses for the scavengers to feed from. According to the ranger on our drive, it explained why this particular lion had been seen in this area for a while. Following the drive, we had an African Drumming Experience team building set up for the delegates, during and following which more alcohol was drunk, with the last of us retiring at about 02h00. Needless to say that on the Monday morning none of us were feeling too strong and the morning sessions went off very quietly. By lunchtime, everyone had started to wake up again, as Al had begun his presentations. He's a remarkable presenter and can keep you listening to him for hours. Being from Belfast helps too, as the Irish from that part of the world don't always know when to shut the fuck up. In his case, though, it's a good thing. For the afternoon, we'd arranged a game of cricket for a bit of sport, with yours truly acting as the impartial umpire. A fun time was had by all, with a couple of minor injuries caused by delegates throwing themselves around the tennis court we were playing on. Following that was another game drive and another few beers, though by 21h30 everyone had remembered the previous evening's "injuries" and retired to bed. Tuesday saw a couple of wrap-up sessions, following which Al and I went to de-stress in Manyane, another of the Pilanesberg camps, which is the same camp we went to in May. Too many beers and Captain Morgan 'n' Cokes later, we decided to call it a day. On Wednesday evening, back in Johannesburg, we ended up having dinner with Al's boss who was also in the country, but on holiday (his wife is from SA). Again, too much alcohol and another late night. We were supposed to go to Action Cricket on the Thursday night (and regular readers will know what that does to me), but the game was cancelled so Al and I sat at home and had a little barbecue by ourselves...and more alcohol... Friday saw us in the office for a few hours, followed by another dinner with Al's boss and a couple of other friends...and more alcohol... Needless to say that, after all that boozing, none of us surfaced until after 10h00 on Saturday and all we had to do was some shopping for curios for Al to take back to the States. He was under threat of divorce if he didn't bring back a pair of oven gloves with an African pattern on them, and knock me over and spank my ass with a rough plank if we didn't find a pair of gloves exactly the same as he had back home. Oven gloves may be a strange thing to take back from Africa for someone, but the original pair had been burned recently and Mrs Al really liked them (as he says, if she didn't have them, she'd end up burning her hands taking th TV dinners out of the oven - Al is the chief cook in the house). As is customary with our farewells, that evening it took us all of two seconds to say good bye (neitherof us like long goodbye's) and for Al to go belting off to get through customs in time to do some more bargain hunting before the two-day flight home. and it really is a bargain out here for visitors from the States and the UK as the exchange rates are so much in their favour (ZAR6.7 and ZAR12.4 to the dollar and pound respectively just now). Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday ended up being nice and quiet at home, just the two of us with perhaps only a sundowner for a drink, but Wednesday was another story. You guessed it...Action Cricket night!! Staggered in at somewhere around midnight, ravaged the missus (she loves it when I'm on the Captian Morgan 'n' Coke) and passed out sometime soon after. Thursday, as we had missed the game the previous week, ended up being a repeat of Wednesday, except for the ravaging part (too fucking knackered) and ended up getting to bed about 22h30. Somewhere through the haze I remember that we set up a game of golf for this coming Thursday...must get hold of the guys to find out more details. We expected to have a quiet Friday evening, just the two of us, but the neighbour's kids came over for a couple of hours while mum and dad went off to a work function (granny let them down on the babysitting). It ended up being not too late a night, with the kids' folks picking them up around 22h30...and very little alcohol. Saturday, however, was another story. After pottering around the garden and cleaning up the caravan for a few hours (we're going camping this weekend at a place Mbizi), we went to the wedding of two of our friends. Let me tell you that red wine and single malt scotch DO NOT MIX!! That was probably the worst hangover of my entire fucking life and Sunday was spent vegetating on the couch after a haggis and fried egg sandwich. Anyway, that's what I've been up to over the last few weeks, just in case you wondered. And, oh yes, Wednesday night is Action Cricket again...anyone got a spare liver? Take care, y'all...

Would you eat something that looked like this?

There's a stream not far from the house and a while ago I'd seen some barbel (catfish) swimming around in it, so today with nothing better to do and fed up sitting in front of the laptop working on a presentation for an upcoming seminar we're hosting, I took my fly rod down. After looking around the river for a while, not seeing a rise, I went back upstream and saw a pool where there were some fish rising. That was all I needed to get me to put the rod together (a 9-weight saltwater rod - those fish would break my 5-weight rod, I reckoned) and move the car back closer to the pool. First I tied on an orange "booby" fly (a dry fly that floats with the aid of sponge for eyes....dunno what it's supposed to look like). Nothing happened after a few minutes so I tied on a fly called a "Yellow DDD" and had a few casts. No luck...so I tried a fly called a "half-a-chicken", a big black thing with red tail streamers which is supposed to be good for barbel. Again, no luck after a few casts. This time I thought I might try an imitation grass hopper, called a "Joe's Hopper". A few casts and I had a few chases, but only after I noticed that they were chasing it after it "plunked" onto the surface....it looked like the noise was attracting them. So I waited for a rise and splashed the Hopper right next to it. Next thing I know, the line straightens and a barbel takes off like a fucking freight train. It took all the loose line I was hanging onto, about 3 or 4 metres, and then carried on going, taking about another 3 or 4 off the reel which was screaming like a banshee from the drag. I managed to get the fish under control, brought it in a bit, it took a couple more runs and started swimming upstream, so I followed it from the bank. After about 10 minutes it tired, and I managed to get it to the bank but there was no way I was going to pick that slimy thing up. Luckily it was so tired it just flopped about a bit and I tried to get the fly out its mouth with some long-nose pliers, but the knot snapped as I tried to twist the hook out. Judging by the look of the fly, it was buggered anyway, so I didn't try any more to get the fly back and guided the fish back into the stream. Not before I got some pictures of it though...... ;-)))) Even while I was fighting it, I had one hand on the rod and managed to get the digital camera out of my fly vest pocket to take a couple of pictures. Then when I got it to the bank, I took a couple more. I reckon the fish was between 4 and 5 kilograms......have a look at the pictures and judge for yourself. On top of which, the leader I was using was rated 2.5kg breaking strain...so it was a good fight and result. The thin red circle to the left of it's mouth is where I highlighted the fly, still in the fish's mouth. After that, I had to tie on another leader cos the barbel tried to wrap me around some debris in the water and frayed it, so I also tied on another grasshopper imitation from my fly box and tried a while longer. Turns out, the hook on that version was very weak (it was actually a number 10 trout hook) and bent straight on two subsequent takes that I had. Ah well....... It turned out to be quite an interesting afternoon and I'll probably do it again sometime that I need a break..... ;-))))

I wish these builders were more constructive...

than they have been until now. What should have been a 6-week project to build the new lounge is dragging on and on and on... Today, however, they should be starting to take out the upstairs Dormer window to patch the two roofs into each other. Until now, we've been lucky (unlucky, the farmers would say) to have not had any rain, but Chicken Licken's Luck says that as soon as you don't have a roof over your head, something will fall on it.