to find these sort of things. My posting about flavored toothpaste urged him to send me links to some of his favourite toothpaste sites. Him living in the USA, I can understand why he would have some of this toothpaste in his bathroom cabinet.
Here's Toothpaste World...I kid you not. Check out the "Partystore" link...
According to my Brutha, there's also meat-flavoured toothpaste for dogs. How pathetic is that? Leads me back to my other posting about stupid people...
Love you too, dude. Hurry back to Africa...
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Monday, June 02, 2008
More Thoughts on...
Toothpaste.
If mankind is so clever, how come we don't yet have toothpaste that tastes like a hamburger, or a chocolate milkshake? Or a beer, for that matter...might just help some alcoholics' craving for the taste.
I'm tired of having my toothpaste taste link mint...it's horrible.
If mankind is so clever, how come we don't yet have toothpaste that tastes like a hamburger, or a chocolate milkshake? Or a beer, for that matter...might just help some alcoholics' craving for the taste.
I'm tired of having my toothpaste taste link mint...it's horrible.
More Thoughts on...
Stupidity.
I used to think the world was full of people doing stupid things.
Now I'm convinced the world is just full of stupid people...
I used to think the world was full of people doing stupid things.
Now I'm convinced the world is just full of stupid people...
Friday, May 23, 2008
The Pastor's Ass...
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.
The local paper read:
"PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT."
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read:
"BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS."
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
"NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN."
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
"NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10."
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:
"NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE."
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass (donkey) and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!
The local paper read:
"PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT."
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read:
"BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS."
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
"NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN."
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
"NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10."
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:
"NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE."
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass (donkey) and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Proudly SA - Quote of the Week
"The latest market research found that 90% of the population in Southern Africa work in the iron and steel industry. Some of them iron but most of them steal."
Friday, May 16, 2008
Which would you rather be driving?
My host in Saudi Dryland, "CC", was involved in a "bumper bashing" the other day and sent me these pics.
The Saudi drivers are terrible at keeping to the rules of the road and, according to CC, the Suburban came out of a side street and didn't even look, let alone stop. Needless to say CC didn't have time to stop...luckily for him, the car is a rental.
Luckily too, CC is unharmed...
The Saudi drivers are terrible at keeping to the rules of the road and, according to CC, the Suburban came out of a side street and didn't even look, let alone stop. Needless to say CC didn't have time to stop...luckily for him, the car is a rental.
Luckily too, CC is unharmed...
Friday, May 09, 2008
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Let me tell you when I've posted something...
by just clicking on the RSS Feed button to the right.
Yeah, I know it'll mean fewer hits on my counter, but it'll also save you some time and disappointment if I haven't posted anything.
You can also get your own free RSS Feed button by clicking here, creating a free account and following the easy instructions...
Yeah, I know it'll mean fewer hits on my counter, but it'll also save you some time and disappointment if I haven't posted anything.
You can also get your own free RSS Feed button by clicking here, creating a free account and following the easy instructions...
More Thoughts on...
The South African Parks Board.
...or more precisely, the Department of Marine and Coastal Management (MCM) as they are known these days.
A little more than a year ago, the MCM instituted a Fishing Permit system, where all anglers had to have a fishing licence to enable them to throw pieces of fish into the sea to enable them to catch bigger fish.
Naturally, it was met with scepticism and, in some circles, ridicule and anger. Anglers are people too and know how inept the government has been to date with regards to such means of policing. And, of course, it was seen as another money-spinning (pardon the fishing reference) scheme by a government who have thought up just about every other way to tax its people. We're all too aware of how money seems to disappear when it gets to the government, but if the money was to be used on actual conservation and not just paying Marthinus "Kortbroek" Van Schalkwyk's over-inflated salary, it may not be too hard to accept.
If I remember correctly, my latest licence cost around R60 for the year. If you're fishing every other weekend, it's not too bad, but us inland anglers find it a little hard to swallow seeing as we aren't able to fish as regularly.
Now, the reason I bring out these thoughts, was because we saw one of the aforementioned MCM members checking for licences last Saturday morning. It was around 7am in the morning and there were only about a dozen anglers on the stretch of beach that we could see. The "man" checked everyone and even had a couple of guys scurrying home for the licences while he looked after their tackle, just in case they didn't come back. We also heard later that he had a couple of guys, who didn't have licences, appear in court to face a fine of R200 each, as well as having their tackle confiscated (I wonder where that'll end up?).
Now what's wrong with all that, I hear you ask? Actually, nothing. If I'm paying for my licence cos it's the lawful thing to do, then those that don't have licences should buy a licence or face the consequences.
What is wrong is that, just 100m further down the beach, were half a dozen "locals", black guys (some with tackle as good as mine, wonder where they got that?) that were catching and keeping very undersized fish, stripping mussels and octopus off the rocks...and the MCM guy did not even go down to that part of the beach. He turned around and went back the way he came.
I purposely sat between the man and the locals, to see if he would go that far down the beach and to make sure that he could actually see them from where he stopped...and he could so that is no reason for his inaction. Perhaps he knew that he would be intimidated, or worse attacked, by the locals (all anglers carry knives), I don't know.
I would put money on it that none of the locals had a licence, so, again the method of policing our shorelines is rendered ineffective. The locals have been known to strip a piece of beach clean over a very short period of time, booth here in SA and in Mozambique where some once pristine beaches are now under serious threat of long-term damage. In Kosi Bay recently, the local MCM guys knew that this would happen and to prove a point, reserved a piece of beach that only the locals were allowed to frequent and use to whatever means they want. What is apparent, is that a piece of beach cannot sustain a very large population or even, in the case of Kosi Bay, a very small population and most of the rocks and beach are stripped bare. There is also a higher than usual amount of pollution littering the reserved area.
So...there's a few problems to be addressed here...
(1) Local lack of concern for their environment - this is going to be a problem here for a long time to come. Locals have a shitty attitude towards things in general, and beach conservation is no different. If Kosi Bay is to be an example of the damage done to the environment, then education needs to be made available to locals around the country so that the problem doesn't become totally out of control, and methods to rejuvenate Kosi Bay need to be implemented too. Kosi Bay is a site known around the world for its breeding beaches for turtles.
(2) Lack of proper policing - MCM officials should not be wandering around the beaches on their own. They should be moving in pairs or more, which will allow a certain measure of safety in numbers and, if one of them gets into trouble, allow for backup to be called to resolve the situation. Also, MCM officials should police the entire stretch of beach under their jurisdiction, as it is no good if they only restrict their efforts to specific pieces of beach. Eventually the locals will get to know where the MCM stops policing the beaches and restrict their activities to those areas for a while. Once those areas are stripped bare, however, the locals will be up in arms pleading that they are subsistence fishermen and they aren't allowed to make a living. SORRY...this is not a reason...there is no such thing as a subsistence fisherman fishing from a beach...he would not catch enough to survive, and almost certainly has a job (even part time) to make money for other expenses.
(3) A proper licencing system - we have to get away from the punitive systems that are put in by inept government agencies who don't have a clue of what they're doing. Yes, have the current licencing system; it brings in revenue for the MCM. BUT...instead of just confiscating tackle and heading straight for the courts, give the MCM officials on the beaches a licence book (make it a different size or colour to the normal A4 licence). Allow the licence to be valid for only one day. Charge R50 for the licence (yes, it's expensive for one day, but the alternative is court and fine, and confiscation...way more expensive). If the offender can't pay the R50, then confiscate his tackle and get him to court to face the music.
These problems aren't difficult to overcome, we only need the MCM to listen to the public for constructive suggestions (like mine hopefully are) and we need the locals to start giving a damn before it's too late...
I'll be sending a note to the MCM with my comments and suggestions, but I won't be holding my breath to see if I even get a reply, let alone see some positive changes in the way they do things...
...or more precisely, the Department of Marine and Coastal Management (MCM) as they are known these days.
A little more than a year ago, the MCM instituted a Fishing Permit system, where all anglers had to have a fishing licence to enable them to throw pieces of fish into the sea to enable them to catch bigger fish.
Naturally, it was met with scepticism and, in some circles, ridicule and anger. Anglers are people too and know how inept the government has been to date with regards to such means of policing. And, of course, it was seen as another money-spinning (pardon the fishing reference) scheme by a government who have thought up just about every other way to tax its people. We're all too aware of how money seems to disappear when it gets to the government, but if the money was to be used on actual conservation and not just paying Marthinus "Kortbroek" Van Schalkwyk's over-inflated salary, it may not be too hard to accept.
If I remember correctly, my latest licence cost around R60 for the year. If you're fishing every other weekend, it's not too bad, but us inland anglers find it a little hard to swallow seeing as we aren't able to fish as regularly.
Now, the reason I bring out these thoughts, was because we saw one of the aforementioned MCM members checking for licences last Saturday morning. It was around 7am in the morning and there were only about a dozen anglers on the stretch of beach that we could see. The "man" checked everyone and even had a couple of guys scurrying home for the licences while he looked after their tackle, just in case they didn't come back. We also heard later that he had a couple of guys, who didn't have licences, appear in court to face a fine of R200 each, as well as having their tackle confiscated (I wonder where that'll end up?).
Now what's wrong with all that, I hear you ask? Actually, nothing. If I'm paying for my licence cos it's the lawful thing to do, then those that don't have licences should buy a licence or face the consequences.
What is wrong is that, just 100m further down the beach, were half a dozen "locals", black guys (some with tackle as good as mine, wonder where they got that?) that were catching and keeping very undersized fish, stripping mussels and octopus off the rocks...and the MCM guy did not even go down to that part of the beach. He turned around and went back the way he came.
I purposely sat between the man and the locals, to see if he would go that far down the beach and to make sure that he could actually see them from where he stopped...and he could so that is no reason for his inaction. Perhaps he knew that he would be intimidated, or worse attacked, by the locals (all anglers carry knives), I don't know.
I would put money on it that none of the locals had a licence, so, again the method of policing our shorelines is rendered ineffective. The locals have been known to strip a piece of beach clean over a very short period of time, booth here in SA and in Mozambique where some once pristine beaches are now under serious threat of long-term damage. In Kosi Bay recently, the local MCM guys knew that this would happen and to prove a point, reserved a piece of beach that only the locals were allowed to frequent and use to whatever means they want. What is apparent, is that a piece of beach cannot sustain a very large population or even, in the case of Kosi Bay, a very small population and most of the rocks and beach are stripped bare. There is also a higher than usual amount of pollution littering the reserved area.
So...there's a few problems to be addressed here...
(1) Local lack of concern for their environment - this is going to be a problem here for a long time to come. Locals have a shitty attitude towards things in general, and beach conservation is no different. If Kosi Bay is to be an example of the damage done to the environment, then education needs to be made available to locals around the country so that the problem doesn't become totally out of control, and methods to rejuvenate Kosi Bay need to be implemented too. Kosi Bay is a site known around the world for its breeding beaches for turtles.
(2) Lack of proper policing - MCM officials should not be wandering around the beaches on their own. They should be moving in pairs or more, which will allow a certain measure of safety in numbers and, if one of them gets into trouble, allow for backup to be called to resolve the situation. Also, MCM officials should police the entire stretch of beach under their jurisdiction, as it is no good if they only restrict their efforts to specific pieces of beach. Eventually the locals will get to know where the MCM stops policing the beaches and restrict their activities to those areas for a while. Once those areas are stripped bare, however, the locals will be up in arms pleading that they are subsistence fishermen and they aren't allowed to make a living. SORRY...this is not a reason...there is no such thing as a subsistence fisherman fishing from a beach...he would not catch enough to survive, and almost certainly has a job (even part time) to make money for other expenses.
(3) A proper licencing system - we have to get away from the punitive systems that are put in by inept government agencies who don't have a clue of what they're doing. Yes, have the current licencing system; it brings in revenue for the MCM. BUT...instead of just confiscating tackle and heading straight for the courts, give the MCM officials on the beaches a licence book (make it a different size or colour to the normal A4 licence). Allow the licence to be valid for only one day. Charge R50 for the licence (yes, it's expensive for one day, but the alternative is court and fine, and confiscation...way more expensive). If the offender can't pay the R50, then confiscate his tackle and get him to court to face the music.
These problems aren't difficult to overcome, we only need the MCM to listen to the public for constructive suggestions (like mine hopefully are) and we need the locals to start giving a damn before it's too late...
I'll be sending a note to the MCM with my comments and suggestions, but I won't be holding my breath to see if I even get a reply, let alone see some positive changes in the way they do things...
Monday, May 05, 2008
It's Decidedly Average to be back at work...
to coin a phrase used by the inimitable Billy Connolly, Scotland's comedy idol.
I say this as this is the first day back after having a week off, partly in thanks to our useless fuckin' government who decided to give the country three public holidays last week. I also say it, as it's, well, decidedly average to be at work...period.
So, what did I get up to in my time off, I hear you ask.
We had been planning to go to Hermanus but, as you all know, that fell flat due to the {insert spitting noise here) estate agent down there. Instead, taking a flyer, last Sunday afternoon I said to Steph "How do you fancy going down to my folks for a few days from Wednesday afternoon?". To which she said "Ok" and I proceeded to pack my fishing gear in anticipation. I'm sure she could see the joy in my face.
It's been four months since we last saw my folks, Christmas to be exact, so it was about time (diesel price notwithstanding) that we paid them a visit again. On top of that, there's no way my dad's going to come up to Gangsta's Paradise anyway, so it will always be up to us to go down there. In any case, I have a longing for the sea that will never go away so I go down to satisfy that lust too.
We left home on Wednesday afternoon, just after 1pm, right on time for a change. The road was reasonably quiet, except when we got to the Villiers Engen One-Stop and stopped for a cold drink. I was innocently looking through the fridges for something to quench my thirst, when I suddenly hear my name being called above the noise of the other thirsty people. Looking up, I see Fishman and family, sitting in a booth waiting for their lunch to be delivered. I knew they were going down to the North Coast that day too, but did not know what time they would be leaving. As it happens, coincidence had it that we were in the same place at the same time. After paying for the cold drinks and munchies, we said our hello's to the Fishmen family and bid them a safe trip to the coast.
Our drive was pretty uneventful, only having to endure a couple of idiots in their BMW's and some light fog down around Pietermaritburg, normal for the trip. We arrived at the folks around 8h30pm, just in time for the rain to piss down for a couple of hours. Never mind, it gave us time to have a couple of beers and catch up on the news. Once the rain lightened up a bit, we started unpacking the car leaving the fishing gear in a prime spot, ready to be plucked on my way out the door the following morning.
We woke around 8am on Thursday morning, and I headed for the front door to see what the weather and sea were like. Not bad, though the south west wind was blowing a little too hard for my liking. My brother and I decided to take a walk down to the shore to see what the conditions were like and it was just as well we did: they were perfect. On the spot, we decided to go down a couple of hours before high tide which was around 1pm. So we had time for breakfast and a cup of tea, as well as a short chillout chat on what fishing strategy we would be using.
After conning my mum out of a crayfish that we would be using as bait (she's very possessive about her bugs), I took both my rods down to the beach with me and first put out a bait of fresh octopus. With no bites on that, I changed tactic slightly and added a thin slice of crayfish. Within a couple of minutes, I landed a beautiful, 12-inch "Astronaut", better known as the 3-spot Queenfish.
I immediately set up my larger rod, hurled the 8oz grapnel sinker as far as I could, then sent the Astronaut out as a live bait, hoping for one of the early season Garrick my brother had said had been caught already.
After not even ten minutes, just after a sudden downpour of rain, I felt a sharp tug at my line and thought it strange for the Astronaut to pull so hard, so I instinctively set the drag and the ratchet on my reel and in the next instant my rod was pulled down and line started peeling off the reel, accompanied by the scream of the drag. I let out a loud "yeehaa" and my brother picked up on the excitement, also yelling. The rod was bending seaward and as I looked up, I saw what had taken the bait: a Blackfin Shark which, at that quick glance I estimated to be around 100kg. I know it was a Blackfin as they have a habit, once hooked, of launching themselves bodily out of the water while spinning around to try and dislodge the hook. I saw the animal jump twice, but later my brother said he saw it three times. The shark took two long runs, each about 50m, before throwing itself spinning out of the water. Just after the last jump, I felt my line go slack and first instincts told me that it had turned and was heading toward me, but a couple of seconds later I confirmed that it had actually broken the line. This is one of the primary reasons for these sharks jumping and spinning, to drop the hooks and snap the line tethering them to the unknown predator. It is quite spectacular to see a shark launch itself out of the water and even though my fight only lasted about thirty seconds, I was still excited about it that night as I went to sleep. As it was, the knot that I had made to attach the sinker to the main line had come away, so losing the fish was my fault rather than tackle failure. Needless to say, I have endeavoured to find out what knots I should be making in place of my old ones.
After the excitement, I sat down on the rocks and had a good long swig of my "pre-mix" (Capn's Organ and Coke) and chilled out for a few minutes. then, still buoyed by the excitement, I threw in my lighter bait again in the hope of catching another bait fish, but all I came up with was a Morey eel, the scourge of the KZN tropical waters.
We decided to call it a day at about 4pm as by that time the tide had dropped and it looked like it was going to piss down again. Needless to say, none of the family believed my brother and I and blamed the whole thing on a "fisherman's story".
That night, we had a barbecue in the rain with me turning the meat with one hand while the other held the umbrella. It still turned out to be a good braai though.
The weather on Friday wasn't conducive to good fishing (too strong winds and currents), so we ended up in the local pub (just Dad, brother and myself) while Mum and Steph went shopping. The rest of the day was peaceful with only the strong wind making any real noise for the rest of the day.
Saturday's weather wasn't much better than Friday's, but brother and I took a drive through to Port Shepstone to see what the waters there would be like. The surf was just as big as it was at home and the current was just as strong, so we watched a few anglers battling the elements for a while, then decided to take the drive home, stopping en route to see if we could find some other new spots to try one day. We found one particularly good spot, but due to the late time in the afternoon, we decided to leave it for another day.
Getting home, we found that Dad had just gone down to the pub about a half hour before we arrived, but decided to leave him to it and he arrived about an hour later, a few pints of the good brown stuff for the better.
On Sunday morning, I woke up just after 6am and woke Steph to tell her I think we should be getting going. As most of the "binnelanders" (inlanders) would be heading back that day, I felt it best that we should get an early start. Just as well too, going by traffic reports later. There was an estimated 2,500 cars an hour passing through the toll gates and on Monday morning Fishman phoned to say that they had left about an hour after we had and had got caught at one of the last gates, with traffic backed up for about 3km. We, on the other hand, had no such worries and passed through the toll gates quite quickly.
We had more torrential rain coming through the Drakensberg region, which is very unseasonal for SA. I thought it might turn to snow if the temperature dropped any further, but we only had the torrents to deal with.
On getting home at about 13h30, the dogs just about ate us up as they were obviously glad to see us and that we hadn't gone and left them to fend for themselves. And, no doubt, the big gay Doberman, Duke, was glad to be allowed back onto his warm bed in the house. The Shit Towne temperature has fallen quite a bit in the last couple of weeks, to the extent that we have started lighting a fire in the evening to warm the lounge area. It looks like it's going to be a long, cold, winter.
So...what did the rest of you get up to? Let us all know...
I say this as this is the first day back after having a week off, partly in thanks to our useless fuckin' government who decided to give the country three public holidays last week. I also say it, as it's, well, decidedly average to be at work...period.
So, what did I get up to in my time off, I hear you ask.
We had been planning to go to Hermanus but, as you all know, that fell flat due to the {insert spitting noise here) estate agent down there. Instead, taking a flyer, last Sunday afternoon I said to Steph "How do you fancy going down to my folks for a few days from Wednesday afternoon?". To which she said "Ok" and I proceeded to pack my fishing gear in anticipation. I'm sure she could see the joy in my face.
It's been four months since we last saw my folks, Christmas to be exact, so it was about time (diesel price notwithstanding) that we paid them a visit again. On top of that, there's no way my dad's going to come up to Gangsta's Paradise anyway, so it will always be up to us to go down there. In any case, I have a longing for the sea that will never go away so I go down to satisfy that lust too.
We left home on Wednesday afternoon, just after 1pm, right on time for a change. The road was reasonably quiet, except when we got to the Villiers Engen One-Stop and stopped for a cold drink. I was innocently looking through the fridges for something to quench my thirst, when I suddenly hear my name being called above the noise of the other thirsty people. Looking up, I see Fishman and family, sitting in a booth waiting for their lunch to be delivered. I knew they were going down to the North Coast that day too, but did not know what time they would be leaving. As it happens, coincidence had it that we were in the same place at the same time. After paying for the cold drinks and munchies, we said our hello's to the Fishmen family and bid them a safe trip to the coast.
Our drive was pretty uneventful, only having to endure a couple of idiots in their BMW's and some light fog down around Pietermaritburg, normal for the trip. We arrived at the folks around 8h30pm, just in time for the rain to piss down for a couple of hours. Never mind, it gave us time to have a couple of beers and catch up on the news. Once the rain lightened up a bit, we started unpacking the car leaving the fishing gear in a prime spot, ready to be plucked on my way out the door the following morning.
We woke around 8am on Thursday morning, and I headed for the front door to see what the weather and sea were like. Not bad, though the south west wind was blowing a little too hard for my liking. My brother and I decided to take a walk down to the shore to see what the conditions were like and it was just as well we did: they were perfect. On the spot, we decided to go down a couple of hours before high tide which was around 1pm. So we had time for breakfast and a cup of tea, as well as a short chillout chat on what fishing strategy we would be using.
After conning my mum out of a crayfish that we would be using as bait (she's very possessive about her bugs), I took both my rods down to the beach with me and first put out a bait of fresh octopus. With no bites on that, I changed tactic slightly and added a thin slice of crayfish. Within a couple of minutes, I landed a beautiful, 12-inch "Astronaut", better known as the 3-spot Queenfish.
I immediately set up my larger rod, hurled the 8oz grapnel sinker as far as I could, then sent the Astronaut out as a live bait, hoping for one of the early season Garrick my brother had said had been caught already.
After not even ten minutes, just after a sudden downpour of rain, I felt a sharp tug at my line and thought it strange for the Astronaut to pull so hard, so I instinctively set the drag and the ratchet on my reel and in the next instant my rod was pulled down and line started peeling off the reel, accompanied by the scream of the drag. I let out a loud "yeehaa" and my brother picked up on the excitement, also yelling. The rod was bending seaward and as I looked up, I saw what had taken the bait: a Blackfin Shark which, at that quick glance I estimated to be around 100kg. I know it was a Blackfin as they have a habit, once hooked, of launching themselves bodily out of the water while spinning around to try and dislodge the hook. I saw the animal jump twice, but later my brother said he saw it three times. The shark took two long runs, each about 50m, before throwing itself spinning out of the water. Just after the last jump, I felt my line go slack and first instincts told me that it had turned and was heading toward me, but a couple of seconds later I confirmed that it had actually broken the line. This is one of the primary reasons for these sharks jumping and spinning, to drop the hooks and snap the line tethering them to the unknown predator. It is quite spectacular to see a shark launch itself out of the water and even though my fight only lasted about thirty seconds, I was still excited about it that night as I went to sleep. As it was, the knot that I had made to attach the sinker to the main line had come away, so losing the fish was my fault rather than tackle failure. Needless to say, I have endeavoured to find out what knots I should be making in place of my old ones.
After the excitement, I sat down on the rocks and had a good long swig of my "pre-mix" (Capn's Organ and Coke) and chilled out for a few minutes. then, still buoyed by the excitement, I threw in my lighter bait again in the hope of catching another bait fish, but all I came up with was a Morey eel, the scourge of the KZN tropical waters.
We decided to call it a day at about 4pm as by that time the tide had dropped and it looked like it was going to piss down again. Needless to say, none of the family believed my brother and I and blamed the whole thing on a "fisherman's story".
That night, we had a barbecue in the rain with me turning the meat with one hand while the other held the umbrella. It still turned out to be a good braai though.
The weather on Friday wasn't conducive to good fishing (too strong winds and currents), so we ended up in the local pub (just Dad, brother and myself) while Mum and Steph went shopping. The rest of the day was peaceful with only the strong wind making any real noise for the rest of the day.
Saturday's weather wasn't much better than Friday's, but brother and I took a drive through to Port Shepstone to see what the waters there would be like. The surf was just as big as it was at home and the current was just as strong, so we watched a few anglers battling the elements for a while, then decided to take the drive home, stopping en route to see if we could find some other new spots to try one day. We found one particularly good spot, but due to the late time in the afternoon, we decided to leave it for another day.
Getting home, we found that Dad had just gone down to the pub about a half hour before we arrived, but decided to leave him to it and he arrived about an hour later, a few pints of the good brown stuff for the better.
On Sunday morning, I woke up just after 6am and woke Steph to tell her I think we should be getting going. As most of the "binnelanders" (inlanders) would be heading back that day, I felt it best that we should get an early start. Just as well too, going by traffic reports later. There was an estimated 2,500 cars an hour passing through the toll gates and on Monday morning Fishman phoned to say that they had left about an hour after we had and had got caught at one of the last gates, with traffic backed up for about 3km. We, on the other hand, had no such worries and passed through the toll gates quite quickly.
We had more torrential rain coming through the Drakensberg region, which is very unseasonal for SA. I thought it might turn to snow if the temperature dropped any further, but we only had the torrents to deal with.
On getting home at about 13h30, the dogs just about ate us up as they were obviously glad to see us and that we hadn't gone and left them to fend for themselves. And, no doubt, the big gay Doberman, Duke, was glad to be allowed back onto his warm bed in the house. The Shit Towne temperature has fallen quite a bit in the last couple of weeks, to the extent that we have started lighting a fire in the evening to warm the lounge area. It looks like it's going to be a long, cold, winter.
So...what did the rest of you get up to? Let us all know...
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
More Thoughts on...
Estate Agents.
They're bastards, and deserve to be put in the same class as lawyers, doctors, politicians, spammers, etc, etc... They are of little value to anyone and are unscrupulous in their doings. Yes, I'm generalising, but I'm pissed off, so if you're a nice person but fall into one of those professions I scourned, please forgive me.
Our move to Hermanus was supposed to have taken place this week, but due to the behaviour of the seller's estate agent, we almost got into some serious financial shit and, as a result, have cancelled our offer on the Hermanus house.
The agent, whom I will call Carl Retief (his real name, in case you're wondering) lied to everyone concerned and now the seller is taking him to the Estate Agents Board. We'll probably hear nothing more about it, but we know something is happening as we had a call from his boss for some information.
He lied to:
1. Us - he didn't tell us the seller only wanted a cash purchaser (who the fuck can afford R1.85m anyway?);
2. The Seller - he didn't tell them we had a house to sell and probably didn't show them the entire Offer to Purchase document as we never got a complete copy of it back with all the pages initialled as we were supposed to, being a legal and binding document;
3. The Transferring Attorneys - they are aware that we have a house to sell before we satisfy the conditions on the Offer, and I emailed them to this effect when they asked me if they could proceed (I told them no), yet last week Carl Retief told them I had given him the okay to tell them to proceed with the transfer which would have put us in a R24,000 a month financial fuckup. Naturally this has to be in writing, which made it even more suspicious.
As a result, there were "snot'n'trane" (snot 'n' tears) by the seller's wife and even Steph is a little upset about it. She had made plans to move in this week while I stayed in Joburg to sell the house and I was going to fly down this week to help her settle in, as much as we could without all our other possessions (and the dogs) around her.
In all honesty, I'm quite relieved it has fallen through, as things were not going according to what I saw as the logical sequence of events. We now have time to sell our house and look for a house down there which need not necessarily be in Hermanus but will certainly be in the vicinity. Up until now, things have been progressing at Steph's emotional speed, which has been too fast to me and causing great stress.
We still have the corporation's blessing to move to the Cape and I'm also away in Saudi Dryland for a few days from Thursday next week, so it helps us in that Steph can now calm down a little, look after our Joburg house while I'm away, and when I'm back we can look for another place for her to stay when she transfers down and I'm left in Joburg to sell off the house.
So...as I've taken the couple of days off between the public holidays (daft government gave the country Monday, Thursday and Friday off), we'll go down to see my folks on the KZN coast. It's been a while since we saw them and I can do some fishing at the same time to satisfy that need. My brother's there too and he's just as avid a fisherman as I am. Maybe we'll go and join Fishman, who is down at Thompson's Bay on the North Coast for a couple of days with his family, also fishing.
Anyway...hope the rest of you are well. Take care, y'all...
They're bastards, and deserve to be put in the same class as lawyers, doctors, politicians, spammers, etc, etc... They are of little value to anyone and are unscrupulous in their doings. Yes, I'm generalising, but I'm pissed off, so if you're a nice person but fall into one of those professions I scourned, please forgive me.
Our move to Hermanus was supposed to have taken place this week, but due to the behaviour of the seller's estate agent, we almost got into some serious financial shit and, as a result, have cancelled our offer on the Hermanus house.
The agent, whom I will call Carl Retief (his real name, in case you're wondering) lied to everyone concerned and now the seller is taking him to the Estate Agents Board. We'll probably hear nothing more about it, but we know something is happening as we had a call from his boss for some information.
He lied to:
1. Us - he didn't tell us the seller only wanted a cash purchaser (who the fuck can afford R1.85m anyway?);
2. The Seller - he didn't tell them we had a house to sell and probably didn't show them the entire Offer to Purchase document as we never got a complete copy of it back with all the pages initialled as we were supposed to, being a legal and binding document;
3. The Transferring Attorneys - they are aware that we have a house to sell before we satisfy the conditions on the Offer, and I emailed them to this effect when they asked me if they could proceed (I told them no), yet last week Carl Retief told them I had given him the okay to tell them to proceed with the transfer which would have put us in a R24,000 a month financial fuckup. Naturally this has to be in writing, which made it even more suspicious.
As a result, there were "snot'n'trane" (snot 'n' tears) by the seller's wife and even Steph is a little upset about it. She had made plans to move in this week while I stayed in Joburg to sell the house and I was going to fly down this week to help her settle in, as much as we could without all our other possessions (and the dogs) around her.
In all honesty, I'm quite relieved it has fallen through, as things were not going according to what I saw as the logical sequence of events. We now have time to sell our house and look for a house down there which need not necessarily be in Hermanus but will certainly be in the vicinity. Up until now, things have been progressing at Steph's emotional speed, which has been too fast to me and causing great stress.
We still have the corporation's blessing to move to the Cape and I'm also away in Saudi Dryland for a few days from Thursday next week, so it helps us in that Steph can now calm down a little, look after our Joburg house while I'm away, and when I'm back we can look for another place for her to stay when she transfers down and I'm left in Joburg to sell off the house.
So...as I've taken the couple of days off between the public holidays (daft government gave the country Monday, Thursday and Friday off), we'll go down to see my folks on the KZN coast. It's been a while since we saw them and I can do some fishing at the same time to satisfy that need. My brother's there too and he's just as avid a fisherman as I am. Maybe we'll go and join Fishman, who is down at Thompson's Bay on the North Coast for a couple of days with his family, also fishing.
Anyway...hope the rest of you are well. Take care, y'all...
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
More thoughts on "The Dogs of War"...
Some of you may know that we had our house on show last weekend, with a view to selling it a bit quicker than the estate agents are prone to do normally. The guy who came around to house-sit does not work for the estate agents on a full-time basis, but does it to substitute his miserable salary he gets as a teacher in SA (the good ones really are paid crap).
"K" is a nice guy, stuck somewhere around the late 70's, a wannabe hippy I think. Nice guy though, very much into teaching and things childlike, so much so that when an Indian couple came to look at the place he spent more time cooing at their youngster than trying to sell the fuckin' house, I think. But anyway...I don't think he's a paedophile, so he's okay.
When K was leaving on Sunday we were having a chat, standing in the driveway, and somehow we got onto the state of affairs in the country. I mentioned, jokingly, that the Deputy Minister for Safety and Security (see previous posting), or DMSS as I will call her, was my "new hero". I thought K was going to throw his newspaper at me. "Nooooo", he says, "that scares the shit out of me".
He gave a couple of reasons for his fear of the situation and afterward, once he'd left, I got to thinking about them in more depth.
On the one hand, I agree with his fears, in that it might open up a whole new kind of war in SA, where more illegal guns find their way onto our streets, arming the already-armed-to-the-teeth thieves and assaulters, making it more dangerous for peace-loving folks to survive in an already stressful socio-political climate. K seems to think that the body count of innocent bystanders will rise and I can't disagree with that fear either.
Personally, I think the DMSS was subliminally telling the police forces that they need to catch a wake-up call, that they are failing in their jobs to protect the innocent and are in a job that demands that one day, they may need to make the ultimate sacrifice with their lives.
At the moment, our police are mostly fat, lazy, stupid, ignorant of the law and human rights, slobs who would find it harder to run around the block than an Italian pizza parlour owner who eats most of his profits. The police force conscripts see the job as easy (fuck knows, every time you see a gathering of cops next to the highway, on the pretence of "policing", they are all standing around joking and laughing, usually in squads of between four and twelve at a time), with the opportunity to perhaps make a buck on the side (corruption is rife in the police force), work some overtime chatting up the chicks at a public event, be seen to be driving a souped-up BMW while on patrol, and generally just acting like they own the fuckin' world, like everything's a big fuckin' joke.
Just as an aside to prove my point...the very moment we arrived back in Shit Towne from our holiday in Hermanus, we witnessed a classic police brutality event. We were just turning off the highway when, in the fast lane, an unmarked black BMW X5 was driving up the backside of an old Volvo that was obviously waiting for a gap to move back into the middle lane. The X5 was flashing headlights and hooting, so close to the Volvo that you couldn't squeeze a credit card between them. The Volvo managed, 200m later, to move across and the X5 drove alongside, whereupon the passenger leans out of the window, R5 assault rifle in his hands pointing at the hapless Volvo driver, and uses the rifle to slap the side mirror off the Volvo. They then sped off, laughing at the event. I was gob-smacked to such an extent that I took down the registration number of the X5 and called it in to the police hot line as soon as I got home, gave them all the details and generally expressed my disgust at what had happened. Needless to say...I haven't heard anything more about the incident (like I really expected to...not!!!)
No, I don't hate the police. I admire some of them for their conviction of wanting to protect the public from all sorts of bad shit. The rest of them that are there for their "gravy train" handouts though, I despise. They are a waste of my hard-earned tax money and must be rooted out at the earliest opportunity and punished for the crimes they are/have committed while in uniform.
I also, however, think there needs to be some form of scrutinising the cadets before they go into police school, better than (if there is one) the current way in which it is done. Sadly, some of the best cops this country has had, have ended up dying for being so good at their jobs, gunned down (assassinated) by the very criminals I'm talking about, because they've gotten too close to the perpetrators.
Anyway, back to the subject...
I also think the DMSS' statment is a warning to criminals, actual and wannabe, that they can/should expect to be on the end of more violent reaction to their deeds, something that is sadly lacking currently. I say fight fire with fire, and if it means a shoot-out, so be it. The KwaZulu Natal road traffic police have a "zero tolerance" for people committing traffic offences and this policy should be taken nationwide at a SA Police Services level. If we can't have the death penalty brought back (apparently Mr Mandela stated that it would not happen in his lifetime) then we need a zero tolerance policy to be shown toward violent criminal acts. It's about time some of the criminals and perpetrators of violent crime started dying, instead of innocent bystanders and peace-loving people who want to spend time with their families in the deserved safety of their homes.
There certainly is a trend towards criminals being "ratted on" by members of their own communities, but it is not happening to the extent I believe it should. There is still a tendency toward "ignorance is bliss" and not wanting to get involved in situations, but unless we all get involved to whatever extent it takes, we will continue to have more of the same old shit and the criminals will continue to roam the streets unchallenged and not paying their dues back to society.
Sadly, to some extent, there is also a criminal mentality prevailing in the country...let me explain. I mentioned corruption earlier. On too many occasions have we all heard (and some of us experienced, myself included) of bribes being paid to cops in order to not have to pay a fine, or worse (like get arrested for drunken driving - not me). On too many occasions have we heard of people perpetrating crimes (though they are jokingly seen as petty, they still adversely affect some poor bastard) and tell people about them after a few drinks, like it's a big joke. On too many occasions have we.....you get the picture, I think.
The point is that, if whatever one does is unlawful, it is a crime and we as a society need to move away from that way of doing and seeing things. Live life honestly, and it will benefit the entire population and not just a select few. Karma is a funny thing...one day it WILL come back and bite you in the arse, and you better not complain when it does.
Let the criminals and perpetrators of crime beware, I say...eventually you will get bust and I hope you come off second best.
This "posting" has turned into more of a "ranting" so I'm going to stop here...
"K" is a nice guy, stuck somewhere around the late 70's, a wannabe hippy I think. Nice guy though, very much into teaching and things childlike, so much so that when an Indian couple came to look at the place he spent more time cooing at their youngster than trying to sell the fuckin' house, I think. But anyway...I don't think he's a paedophile, so he's okay.
When K was leaving on Sunday we were having a chat, standing in the driveway, and somehow we got onto the state of affairs in the country. I mentioned, jokingly, that the Deputy Minister for Safety and Security (see previous posting), or DMSS as I will call her, was my "new hero". I thought K was going to throw his newspaper at me. "Nooooo", he says, "that scares the shit out of me".
He gave a couple of reasons for his fear of the situation and afterward, once he'd left, I got to thinking about them in more depth.
On the one hand, I agree with his fears, in that it might open up a whole new kind of war in SA, where more illegal guns find their way onto our streets, arming the already-armed-to-the-teeth thieves and assaulters, making it more dangerous for peace-loving folks to survive in an already stressful socio-political climate. K seems to think that the body count of innocent bystanders will rise and I can't disagree with that fear either.
Personally, I think the DMSS was subliminally telling the police forces that they need to catch a wake-up call, that they are failing in their jobs to protect the innocent and are in a job that demands that one day, they may need to make the ultimate sacrifice with their lives.
At the moment, our police are mostly fat, lazy, stupid, ignorant of the law and human rights, slobs who would find it harder to run around the block than an Italian pizza parlour owner who eats most of his profits. The police force conscripts see the job as easy (fuck knows, every time you see a gathering of cops next to the highway, on the pretence of "policing", they are all standing around joking and laughing, usually in squads of between four and twelve at a time), with the opportunity to perhaps make a buck on the side (corruption is rife in the police force), work some overtime chatting up the chicks at a public event, be seen to be driving a souped-up BMW while on patrol, and generally just acting like they own the fuckin' world, like everything's a big fuckin' joke.
Just as an aside to prove my point...the very moment we arrived back in Shit Towne from our holiday in Hermanus, we witnessed a classic police brutality event. We were just turning off the highway when, in the fast lane, an unmarked black BMW X5 was driving up the backside of an old Volvo that was obviously waiting for a gap to move back into the middle lane. The X5 was flashing headlights and hooting, so close to the Volvo that you couldn't squeeze a credit card between them. The Volvo managed, 200m later, to move across and the X5 drove alongside, whereupon the passenger leans out of the window, R5 assault rifle in his hands pointing at the hapless Volvo driver, and uses the rifle to slap the side mirror off the Volvo. They then sped off, laughing at the event. I was gob-smacked to such an extent that I took down the registration number of the X5 and called it in to the police hot line as soon as I got home, gave them all the details and generally expressed my disgust at what had happened. Needless to say...I haven't heard anything more about the incident (like I really expected to...not!!!)
No, I don't hate the police. I admire some of them for their conviction of wanting to protect the public from all sorts of bad shit. The rest of them that are there for their "gravy train" handouts though, I despise. They are a waste of my hard-earned tax money and must be rooted out at the earliest opportunity and punished for the crimes they are/have committed while in uniform.
I also, however, think there needs to be some form of scrutinising the cadets before they go into police school, better than (if there is one) the current way in which it is done. Sadly, some of the best cops this country has had, have ended up dying for being so good at their jobs, gunned down (assassinated) by the very criminals I'm talking about, because they've gotten too close to the perpetrators.
Anyway, back to the subject...
I also think the DMSS' statment is a warning to criminals, actual and wannabe, that they can/should expect to be on the end of more violent reaction to their deeds, something that is sadly lacking currently. I say fight fire with fire, and if it means a shoot-out, so be it. The KwaZulu Natal road traffic police have a "zero tolerance" for people committing traffic offences and this policy should be taken nationwide at a SA Police Services level. If we can't have the death penalty brought back (apparently Mr Mandela stated that it would not happen in his lifetime) then we need a zero tolerance policy to be shown toward violent criminal acts. It's about time some of the criminals and perpetrators of violent crime started dying, instead of innocent bystanders and peace-loving people who want to spend time with their families in the deserved safety of their homes.
There certainly is a trend towards criminals being "ratted on" by members of their own communities, but it is not happening to the extent I believe it should. There is still a tendency toward "ignorance is bliss" and not wanting to get involved in situations, but unless we all get involved to whatever extent it takes, we will continue to have more of the same old shit and the criminals will continue to roam the streets unchallenged and not paying their dues back to society.
Sadly, to some extent, there is also a criminal mentality prevailing in the country...let me explain. I mentioned corruption earlier. On too many occasions have we all heard (and some of us experienced, myself included) of bribes being paid to cops in order to not have to pay a fine, or worse (like get arrested for drunken driving - not me). On too many occasions have we heard of people perpetrating crimes (though they are jokingly seen as petty, they still adversely affect some poor bastard) and tell people about them after a few drinks, like it's a big joke. On too many occasions have we.....you get the picture, I think.
The point is that, if whatever one does is unlawful, it is a crime and we as a society need to move away from that way of doing and seeing things. Live life honestly, and it will benefit the entire population and not just a select few. Karma is a funny thing...one day it WILL come back and bite you in the arse, and you better not complain when it does.
Let the criminals and perpetrators of crime beware, I say...eventually you will get bust and I hope you come off second best.
This "posting" has turned into more of a "ranting" so I'm going to stop here...
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Let Loose the Dogs of War...
April 10 2008 at 06:52AM
Police have been given the licence to kill by a deputy minister.
"You must kill the bastards if they threaten you or the community. You must not worry about the regulations. That is my responsibility. Your responsibility is to serve and protect," were the fiery words of Deputy Safety and Security Minister Susan Shabangu at an anti-crime imbizo in Pretoria West on Wednesday.
Shabangu, who received a standing ovation, was responding to questions on what police and the government were doing to curb crime.
Residents of Danville, Pretoria West, Lotus Gardens, Hercules and Elandspoort complained about the "pathetic excuses" given by police allegedly unable or unwilling to deal with crime.
"I want to assure the police station commissioners and policemen and women from these areas that they have permission to kill these criminals.
"I won't tolerate any pathetic excuses for you not being able to deal with crime. You have been given guns, now use them.
"I want no warning shots. You have one shot and it must be a kill shot. If you miss, the criminals will go for the kill. They don't miss. We can't take this chance.
"Criminals are hell-bent on undermining the law and they must now be dealt with. If criminals dare to threaten the police or the livelihood or lives of innocent men, women and children, they must be killed. End of story. There are to be no negotiations with criminals.
"The constitution says criminals must be kept safe, but I say No!
"I say we must protect the law-abiding people and not the criminals. I say that criminals must be made to pay for their crimes," she said.
Lashing out at corrupt and incompetent police officials, Shabangu said the community had a voice and should use it, especially when it came to crime.
"If you feel you're not being listened to or your rights are being infringed, stand up and make your voice heard.
"A policeman has to help you. He has taken an oath to serve and protect and can't decide who and when he wants to serve and protect.
"You must not accept excuses from police who say they can't help you because the crime didn't happen in their precinct. They have no choice. This is not an issue open for debate," she said to Loraine de Vries, who claimed a Pretoria West inspector had refused to help her because she lived in another suburb.
Responding to questions on police either responding late or not at all to emergencies, Shabangu said if a person wasn't happy with the response, they should take it up with the station commissioner.
"You have a right to know why police respond late or not at all. It's your life on the line. That's another thing that's not up for debate. Police have to respond, whether they like it or not."
Appealing to communities for help in the fight against crime, Shabangu welcomed the questions.
"The only way we have a true picture of what's happening is through imbizos like this. We need more interaction if we're to win the war on crime.
"We need communities to get involved with us in order to restore law and order and in order for our country to have a future. If we don't, our children won't have a future.
"We need to take back our homes, our streets, our cities and our country and the only way we can do it is with the help of the people.
"You are our answer in the fight against crime," she said.
Police have been given the licence to kill by a deputy minister.
"You must kill the bastards if they threaten you or the community. You must not worry about the regulations. That is my responsibility. Your responsibility is to serve and protect," were the fiery words of Deputy Safety and Security Minister Susan Shabangu at an anti-crime imbizo in Pretoria West on Wednesday.
Shabangu, who received a standing ovation, was responding to questions on what police and the government were doing to curb crime.
Residents of Danville, Pretoria West, Lotus Gardens, Hercules and Elandspoort complained about the "pathetic excuses" given by police allegedly unable or unwilling to deal with crime.
"I want to assure the police station commissioners and policemen and women from these areas that they have permission to kill these criminals.
"I won't tolerate any pathetic excuses for you not being able to deal with crime. You have been given guns, now use them.
"I want no warning shots. You have one shot and it must be a kill shot. If you miss, the criminals will go for the kill. They don't miss. We can't take this chance.
"Criminals are hell-bent on undermining the law and they must now be dealt with. If criminals dare to threaten the police or the livelihood or lives of innocent men, women and children, they must be killed. End of story. There are to be no negotiations with criminals.
"The constitution says criminals must be kept safe, but I say No!
"I say we must protect the law-abiding people and not the criminals. I say that criminals must be made to pay for their crimes," she said.
Lashing out at corrupt and incompetent police officials, Shabangu said the community had a voice and should use it, especially when it came to crime.
"If you feel you're not being listened to or your rights are being infringed, stand up and make your voice heard.
"A policeman has to help you. He has taken an oath to serve and protect and can't decide who and when he wants to serve and protect.
"You must not accept excuses from police who say they can't help you because the crime didn't happen in their precinct. They have no choice. This is not an issue open for debate," she said to Loraine de Vries, who claimed a Pretoria West inspector had refused to help her because she lived in another suburb.
Responding to questions on police either responding late or not at all to emergencies, Shabangu said if a person wasn't happy with the response, they should take it up with the station commissioner.
"You have a right to know why police respond late or not at all. It's your life on the line. That's another thing that's not up for debate. Police have to respond, whether they like it or not."
Appealing to communities for help in the fight against crime, Shabangu welcomed the questions.
"The only way we have a true picture of what's happening is through imbizos like this. We need more interaction if we're to win the war on crime.
"We need communities to get involved with us in order to restore law and order and in order for our country to have a future. If we don't, our children won't have a future.
"We need to take back our homes, our streets, our cities and our country and the only way we can do it is with the help of the people.
"You are our answer in the fight against crime," she said.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Two Irish Hunters....brilliant...
Two Irish hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose.
They managed to bag 6.
As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.
The two lads objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded.
However, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down.
Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, Paddy and Mick survived the crash.
After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, "Any idea where we are?"
Mick replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
They managed to bag 6.
As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.
The two lads objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded.
However, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down.
Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, Paddy and Mick survived the crash.
After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, "Any idea where we are?"
Mick replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
Monday, April 07, 2008
10 signs you might be a Taliban..
10. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
9. You own a $300 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
8. You have more wives than teeth.
7. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
5. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.
4. You've never been asked, "Does this burka make my ass look big?"
3. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
2. A common compliment is, "I love what you've done with your cave."
And, the Number 1 sign you might be a member of the Taliban:
1. You wipe your ass with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean...
Go figure...
9. You own a $300 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
8. You have more wives than teeth.
7. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
5. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.
4. You've never been asked, "Does this burka make my ass look big?"
3. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
2. A common compliment is, "I love what you've done with your cave."
And, the Number 1 sign you might be a member of the Taliban:
1. You wipe your ass with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean...
Go figure...
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
A brief update as to what's happening...
in my life at the moment...
We are as busy as all hell at the moment, both on the work and personal fronts.
On the work front...
I'm still battling to get back into the swing of Shit Towne and its surrounding stresses, but that's what going to Saudi Dryland does for me. Over there, you have a relaxing flight over, a couple of hours in a reasonable hotel to catch up on some sleep (all at Emirates' expense), a free meal thrown in to boot, some time in Dubai Duty Free (not worth buying anything on the way into Dryland cos the authorities are really strict about things coming in and will confiscate anything remotely suspicious) and then another relaxing flight into Riyadh.
The work environment with the client is quite relaxed too, unlike Shit Towne where it's cut-throat and everything has to be done last year, never mind last week. We had a few meetings, got the client to take on most of the preparation work for the DR test coming up in May (yes, I'll be going back again, but this should be THE last time), had a presentation to some of the team and flew out again.
I had a few hours in Dubai Duty Free to buy a couple of things (a 1L bottle of Laphroaig 10yr old single malt - my favourite, and at less than a 750ml bottle at home, and a 1L bottle of Bombay Gin - quite nice for gin). Other than that, I used the wireless network there (for free too, something other airports have to learn from) and sat on my email and Facebook for a while, then had an early flight out back to Shit Towne at 04h30.
Back in Joburg just fter 10h30, and home just after 11h00. I passed out on the couch, knackered, and woke up three hours later, slightly refreshed. Needless to say, as it was the start of the Easter weekend, I didn't power up my laptop to check if anyone needed to get hold of me. Fuckit, I thought, I bend over backwards for this company sometime and I wanted some small payback. Only on Tuesday, after the long weekend, did I put some fire under the laptop and check my email.
More than that, I'm still busy on the project in Pretoria and things are progressing slowly, mostly due to issues on the client side but also that the corporation has to get its pricing structure and transparency to the client sorted out. The bastards at the top of the corporation sold the client something that doesn't satisfy their needs and now expect me to stand, cap in hand, and beg for forgiveness. Well guess what, I don't work that way. I'm honest with my clients and if they want to fuck around with that sort of shit, guess what, they're on their own and I've told them as much.
On the personal front...
We grafted our backsides off this last weekend, trying to finish off little bits and pieces around the house for the show session on Sunday. We worked from 4pm until midnight on Friday and again form 8am to 1am on Saturday. Both of us were absolutely knackered on Sunday but I was up at 7am again loading some rubble (from the recent paving we had done) to drive it to the dump. Doing other bits and pieces, tidying up and so on, we were supposed to have the keys ready for the agent at 1pm. I only got into the shower at 1h15 and Steph about 20mins later. Luckily no potential buyers showed up during that time.
We handed the keys to the agent and headed off to Zoo Lake to have a braai with friends. On the way out of the driveway, I remarked to Stpeh that it would rain before 3pm...and how right I was. We got to the lake just after 2pm, three dogs on leashes and took a walk around the lake, when it started pissing down just after 2h30, just after G started the fire. We hadn't had a chance to prepare anything so we were relying on our friends for sustenance. Luckily, G had 4 beers of which he gave me 2, and they'd brought enough pork rashers and chicken breasts for all of us to enjoy. Now we owe them a meal at the house before we leave for Hermanus.
And speaking of which, Steph is in Cape Town from today until Friday evening, to take handover from a colleague who has resigned and from whom Steph will be taking over (for a while at least) on 1st May. Steph has finally reasoned that the move has to be done in stages and getting there is the first step. Me, on the other hand, have not yet heard from my damager, though I have a meeting with him at 5pm this afternoon for a tet-a-tet (face to face, for all you illiterates) to discuss what's going on (or not going on, as the case may be).
As I mentioned, we had the house on show this past Sunday and, though we haven't yet received an offer, it looks promising. There was a couple from Manchester who came through the house, had a long look around, liked what they saw, even sat outside under the lapa for a while, and said they think we have a lovely house which they really liked. The bloke apparently even pointed to the verandah and said "there's my new office", so it looks promising and we're hoping we get an offer soon. They were flying back to Manchester on Sunday evening, so if anything, it'll be a couple of days before we hear from them through the estate agent.
Wednesday night is Action Drinking night again with Fishman and the guys, so no doubt the rest of the week will be a blur. I think I'll get some sleep tonight to make up for what I'm going to lose over the next couple of days...
Take care...y'all...
We are as busy as all hell at the moment, both on the work and personal fronts.
On the work front...
I'm still battling to get back into the swing of Shit Towne and its surrounding stresses, but that's what going to Saudi Dryland does for me. Over there, you have a relaxing flight over, a couple of hours in a reasonable hotel to catch up on some sleep (all at Emirates' expense), a free meal thrown in to boot, some time in Dubai Duty Free (not worth buying anything on the way into Dryland cos the authorities are really strict about things coming in and will confiscate anything remotely suspicious) and then another relaxing flight into Riyadh.
The work environment with the client is quite relaxed too, unlike Shit Towne where it's cut-throat and everything has to be done last year, never mind last week. We had a few meetings, got the client to take on most of the preparation work for the DR test coming up in May (yes, I'll be going back again, but this should be THE last time), had a presentation to some of the team and flew out again.
I had a few hours in Dubai Duty Free to buy a couple of things (a 1L bottle of Laphroaig 10yr old single malt - my favourite, and at less than a 750ml bottle at home, and a 1L bottle of Bombay Gin - quite nice for gin). Other than that, I used the wireless network there (for free too, something other airports have to learn from) and sat on my email and Facebook for a while, then had an early flight out back to Shit Towne at 04h30.
Back in Joburg just fter 10h30, and home just after 11h00. I passed out on the couch, knackered, and woke up three hours later, slightly refreshed. Needless to say, as it was the start of the Easter weekend, I didn't power up my laptop to check if anyone needed to get hold of me. Fuckit, I thought, I bend over backwards for this company sometime and I wanted some small payback. Only on Tuesday, after the long weekend, did I put some fire under the laptop and check my email.
More than that, I'm still busy on the project in Pretoria and things are progressing slowly, mostly due to issues on the client side but also that the corporation has to get its pricing structure and transparency to the client sorted out. The bastards at the top of the corporation sold the client something that doesn't satisfy their needs and now expect me to stand, cap in hand, and beg for forgiveness. Well guess what, I don't work that way. I'm honest with my clients and if they want to fuck around with that sort of shit, guess what, they're on their own and I've told them as much.
On the personal front...
We grafted our backsides off this last weekend, trying to finish off little bits and pieces around the house for the show session on Sunday. We worked from 4pm until midnight on Friday and again form 8am to 1am on Saturday. Both of us were absolutely knackered on Sunday but I was up at 7am again loading some rubble (from the recent paving we had done) to drive it to the dump. Doing other bits and pieces, tidying up and so on, we were supposed to have the keys ready for the agent at 1pm. I only got into the shower at 1h15 and Steph about 20mins later. Luckily no potential buyers showed up during that time.
We handed the keys to the agent and headed off to Zoo Lake to have a braai with friends. On the way out of the driveway, I remarked to Stpeh that it would rain before 3pm...and how right I was. We got to the lake just after 2pm, three dogs on leashes and took a walk around the lake, when it started pissing down just after 2h30, just after G started the fire. We hadn't had a chance to prepare anything so we were relying on our friends for sustenance. Luckily, G had 4 beers of which he gave me 2, and they'd brought enough pork rashers and chicken breasts for all of us to enjoy. Now we owe them a meal at the house before we leave for Hermanus.
And speaking of which, Steph is in Cape Town from today until Friday evening, to take handover from a colleague who has resigned and from whom Steph will be taking over (for a while at least) on 1st May. Steph has finally reasoned that the move has to be done in stages and getting there is the first step. Me, on the other hand, have not yet heard from my damager, though I have a meeting with him at 5pm this afternoon for a tet-a-tet (face to face, for all you illiterates) to discuss what's going on (or not going on, as the case may be).
As I mentioned, we had the house on show this past Sunday and, though we haven't yet received an offer, it looks promising. There was a couple from Manchester who came through the house, had a long look around, liked what they saw, even sat outside under the lapa for a while, and said they think we have a lovely house which they really liked. The bloke apparently even pointed to the verandah and said "there's my new office", so it looks promising and we're hoping we get an offer soon. They were flying back to Manchester on Sunday evening, so if anything, it'll be a couple of days before we hear from them through the estate agent.
Wednesday night is Action Drinking night again with Fishman and the guys, so no doubt the rest of the week will be a blur. I think I'll get some sleep tonight to make up for what I'm going to lose over the next couple of days...
Take care...y'all...
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Fishman...
yes, I'm still alive.
Stressed to all fuck, but alive nonetheless...
I need a drink someone......soon!!!
Stressed to all fuck, but alive nonetheless...
I need a drink someone......soon!!!
Saturday, March 15, 2008
GENOCIDE BEING COMMITTED AGAINST SOUTH AFRICAN WHITES
This mail below is in circulation in the UK and Australia and who knows where else…
========================================
Subject: GENOCIDE BEING COMMITTED AGAINST SOUTH AFRICAN WHITES
Every day hundreds of mails are sent around the world, asking for help to save some animal species.
Is it not very strange how the whole world is ignoring the apparent Genocide being committed against the white people in South Africa?
This slaughter of whites by blacks is being portrayed in the media as - "merely crime related".
If the motive of the crime is theft, why is it necessary to take the life of the person that has already handed over their cell-phone or wallet?
If the motive for the crime is hijacking, why take the woman with them, gang-rape her and then slit her throat?
If the motive for house-breaking is petty theft, why throw boiling water over the farmers before killing them, - after forcing them to watch their wives being gang-raped and tortured in front of them?
Were the mass murders in Bosnia "merely crime related"?
Were the mass murders of Jews in Germany during WWII "merely crime related"?
Are the daily murders of various tribe members in Kenya "merely crime related"?
WHY IS THE HUGE NUMBER OF MURDERS BEING COMMITTED AGAINST SOUTH AFRICAN WHITES LABELLED - "CRIME RELATED"?
BUT... Why is it that the police can spend hundreds of thousands of Rands, and thousands of man-hours hunting down the one white that opened fire upon blacks in Skielik, whilst they cannot find any murderers of innocent, white children, women and men?
In any other countries a mass extermination of any tribe on such a scale would be considered Genocide, a crime against humanity, and an international outcry would follow.
Hundreds of peace keeper would be sent to South Africa.
The United Nations would hold a special sitting.
Headlines in the mass media would be screaming blue murder.
The television channels would be filled with scenes of the dead bodies, and their grieving families.
Yet in South Africa , the murder of the white tribe by the blacks is reduced to a statistic and labelled "crime".
The state sponsored media hardly spares their murders a few lines.
The police refuse to release statistics on the extent of the murders.
What must we do to focus the world's attention on this GENOCIDE---disguised as crime?
If you're a concerned citizen, whether in South Africa or internationally, you are morally bound to act---NOW!!
Get letters published in your local media highlighting the plight of the white tribe in South Africa.
Ask why the ANC led South African Government is suppressing crime figures.
Ask why the murders of white citizens in South Africa are not being solved.
If, as the media are quick to proclaim "WHITES CONDUCTING A RACIST CAMPAIGN AGAINST BLACKS" why do you not hear hundreds of reports of whites killing blacks for their cell-phones?
Why are the whites not killing blacks for their cars?
Why are the whites not breaking into the upper class black neighbourhoods, raping and murdering the women, before making of with their TV sets?
This GENOCIDE must be brought to the attention of the world media before it is too late. Before all the Whites have been erased from the face of South Africa.
STOP 2010 WORLDCUP IF THE SA GOVERMENT DOESN'T ACT NOW!
Do your bit to help the White citizens of South Africa NOW!!
Send this mail to everyone you know throughout the world!!
Alert the world to the mass extermination taking place right in front of their eyes.
Alert all white tourists that are considering a visit to South Africa of the perils they will face.
Criticise the international mass media for their failure to report on the daily occurrence of murder and rape.
PLEASE HELP!!!! PLEASE HELP!!!! PLEASE HELP!!!!
Save the white citizens of South Africa NOW!!
Definition:
Quote: Genocide' was coined by a jurist named Raphael Lemkin in 1944 by combining the Greek word 'genos' (race) with the Latin word 'cide' (killing). Genocide as defined by the United Nations in 1948 means any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnic, racial or religious group, including: (a) killing members of the group (b) causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group (c) deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part (d) imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group (e) forcibly transferring children of the group to another group.
..any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group, as such:
(a) Killing members of the group;
(b) Causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group;
(c) Deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part;
(d) Imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group;
(e) Forcibly transferring children of the group to another group.
– Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide, Article II
========================================
ps...these are not my words, rather those that are in the email. Granted, I agree with some of them, but they were obviously written by someone who has been more seriously affected by the situation than we have been to date. I just hope I never get to a point where I feel the need to write hate email such as this.
========================================
Subject: GENOCIDE BEING COMMITTED AGAINST SOUTH AFRICAN WHITES
Every day hundreds of mails are sent around the world, asking for help to save some animal species.
Is it not very strange how the whole world is ignoring the apparent Genocide being committed against the white people in South Africa?
This slaughter of whites by blacks is being portrayed in the media as - "merely crime related".
If the motive of the crime is theft, why is it necessary to take the life of the person that has already handed over their cell-phone or wallet?
If the motive for the crime is hijacking, why take the woman with them, gang-rape her and then slit her throat?
If the motive for house-breaking is petty theft, why throw boiling water over the farmers before killing them, - after forcing them to watch their wives being gang-raped and tortured in front of them?
Were the mass murders in Bosnia "merely crime related"?
Were the mass murders of Jews in Germany during WWII "merely crime related"?
Are the daily murders of various tribe members in Kenya "merely crime related"?
WHY IS THE HUGE NUMBER OF MURDERS BEING COMMITTED AGAINST SOUTH AFRICAN WHITES LABELLED - "CRIME RELATED"?
BUT... Why is it that the police can spend hundreds of thousands of Rands, and thousands of man-hours hunting down the one white that opened fire upon blacks in Skielik, whilst they cannot find any murderers of innocent, white children, women and men?
In any other countries a mass extermination of any tribe on such a scale would be considered Genocide, a crime against humanity, and an international outcry would follow.
Hundreds of peace keeper would be sent to South Africa.
The United Nations would hold a special sitting.
Headlines in the mass media would be screaming blue murder.
The television channels would be filled with scenes of the dead bodies, and their grieving families.
Yet in South Africa , the murder of the white tribe by the blacks is reduced to a statistic and labelled "crime".
The state sponsored media hardly spares their murders a few lines.
The police refuse to release statistics on the extent of the murders.
What must we do to focus the world's attention on this GENOCIDE---disguised as crime?
If you're a concerned citizen, whether in South Africa or internationally, you are morally bound to act---NOW!!
Get letters published in your local media highlighting the plight of the white tribe in South Africa.
Ask why the ANC led South African Government is suppressing crime figures.
Ask why the murders of white citizens in South Africa are not being solved.
If, as the media are quick to proclaim "WHITES CONDUCTING A RACIST CAMPAIGN AGAINST BLACKS" why do you not hear hundreds of reports of whites killing blacks for their cell-phones?
Why are the whites not killing blacks for their cars?
Why are the whites not breaking into the upper class black neighbourhoods, raping and murdering the women, before making of with their TV sets?
This GENOCIDE must be brought to the attention of the world media before it is too late. Before all the Whites have been erased from the face of South Africa.
STOP 2010 WORLDCUP IF THE SA GOVERMENT DOESN'T ACT NOW!
Do your bit to help the White citizens of South Africa NOW!!
Send this mail to everyone you know throughout the world!!
Alert the world to the mass extermination taking place right in front of their eyes.
Alert all white tourists that are considering a visit to South Africa of the perils they will face.
Criticise the international mass media for their failure to report on the daily occurrence of murder and rape.
PLEASE HELP!!!! PLEASE HELP!!!! PLEASE HELP!!!!
Save the white citizens of South Africa NOW!!
Definition:
Quote: Genocide' was coined by a jurist named Raphael Lemkin in 1944 by combining the Greek word 'genos' (race) with the Latin word 'cide' (killing). Genocide as defined by the United Nations in 1948 means any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnic, racial or religious group, including: (a) killing members of the group (b) causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group (c) deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part (d) imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group (e) forcibly transferring children of the group to another group.
..any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group, as such:
(a) Killing members of the group;
(b) Causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group;
(c) Deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part;
(d) Imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group;
(e) Forcibly transferring children of the group to another group.
– Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide, Article II
========================================
ps...these are not my words, rather those that are in the email. Granted, I agree with some of them, but they were obviously written by someone who has been more seriously affected by the situation than we have been to date. I just hope I never get to a point where I feel the need to write hate email such as this.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Ok, so I know I haven't posted anything about...
our holiday in Hermanus, the sleepy town where we should be emigrating to. In all honesty, I've been incredibly busy both on the work and homefronts. The job is quite intense at the moment (on top of which I'm flying to Saudi Dryland again tomorrow night for a week) and we're readying the house to have it on show sometime soon.
SO...in lieu of the narrative about Hermanus, I thought I'd post some photos and you can see what a kak time we had... :-)
The home we're buying in Hermanus
Dolphins on the Booze Cruise
Sunset on the Booze Cruise
Anyone lost a garden gnome? We found them all...
Hex River Valley on the way home
Too much tar can kill you
Struisbaai Fishing Harbour(1)
Struisbaai Fishing Harbour(2)
Dolphins on the Booze Cruise
Dolphins so near to touch
Thar she blows...
A bakkie, a cottage and a mountain...
This far from the beach
The beach
Stuck in the middle
Cape Agulhas Lighthouse
Hermanus Cliffs one way
Hermanus Cliffs the other way
The Olde Harboure
The New Harbour - booze cruise boat anchored in the background
A big rock in the back garden
SO...in lieu of the narrative about Hermanus, I thought I'd post some photos and you can see what a kak time we had... :-)
The home we're buying in Hermanus
Dolphins on the Booze Cruise
Sunset on the Booze Cruise
Anyone lost a garden gnome? We found them all...
Hex River Valley on the way home
Too much tar can kill you
Struisbaai Fishing Harbour(1)
Struisbaai Fishing Harbour(2)
Dolphins on the Booze Cruise
Dolphins so near to touch
Thar she blows...
A bakkie, a cottage and a mountain...
This far from the beach
The beach
Stuck in the middle
Cape Agulhas Lighthouse
Hermanus Cliffs one way
Hermanus Cliffs the other way
The Olde Harboure
The New Harbour - booze cruise boat anchored in the background
A big rock in the back garden
Thursday, March 06, 2008
GROUND-BREAKING SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY IN SOUTH AFRICA!!!!
Research in South Africa has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 5 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical level of concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 5 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical level of concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
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